I never cheated playing Dungeons & Dragons.

I am manic-depressive/alcoholic/suicidal. Any personal revelations you make will feature in my next poem, thinly disguised but with enough detail for everyone you know to identify you as the source.

Susan

I also have this delicious recipe for home-made hamster pâté; do let me give you some.

You should've seen the color of my baby's poop in his diaper today!

I am just what you see, assuming you have x-ray vision.

Did you hear about the ancient Sanscrit epic I translated into Cantonese?

"I have 18 cats."