Take 2, may it not fly away, this time.

Jim,

You posted a most thoughtful message and I wish to respond in like kind. But I'm having workers in my side of the house; I was lucky to be able to sneak in, since I did not want you to wait too long to have your own words tap you on the shoulder. I'm so glad it worked for you!

More later,
and thank you!
~mignon

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Revision posted. I’m not good at workshopping poems. On top of that I'm a slow learner. It’s not the poems per se that give me difficulty. The difficulty I have is in shaping (revising) them to be finished, or at least better than when they arrived — that's what continues to harry me. I deeply appreciate the patience given to this. In a way, my experience workshopping poems here mirrors the poem's conceit.

It is a great relief to have finally reclaimed the heart of this poem. I apologize for my stumbling and bumbling with the edits. For lack of a better alibi, my stumbling was the product of my poltergeist at play : )

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Jim,

It’s alright to go back and forth with the revision of your poems. It’s commendable. Sometimes, it’s also a good idea to distance yourself before you come back to it. I see you vanished your other versions and I can only hope you did not send them to the bin. Because it is still the same poem, I am not able to comment on it without glancing at the previous versions. But I understand no more comments may be needed if you are satisfied with your last post as the final version.

Special thanks for the kind way in which you referred to me and for how you hear the voice in my writing. Also, thank you for allowing me to enter your poems and making it easy for me to do as I do.

A little story that I think is relevant:

I paint mostly by erasure.

Best wishes and good luck with your poem,
~mignon