Thanks, Yves, for that thoughtful take on the poem—its original, its revision, and its evolution. It’s always fascinating to see how it lands from a reader’s and critic’s perspective. Your insights on the modifier issue are particularly interesting, and I appreciate the way you’ve articulated them.

Hey, Richard! Thanks for revisiting this. There’s a lot to like in how you’ve rearranged the ending—some really intriguing possibilities there. I’ll be setting the whole piece aside for a while, letting it breathe, and coming back with fresher (and hopefully less myopic!) eyes before working toward a final version.

Cheers,
...Alex

As leaves flash pearlescent light showers,

inhale an accord of perfume,

It's better as tetrameter, but these lines won't scan.

I really like the title it implies unity and weaving together of the butterfly and the flower like a musical symphony piece. I like the alliteration in “seeker and sought in each one’s spell.” Overall there are very beautiful images painted using couplets. I also like the lines
“Thus, lovers learn from these frail wings
of patience which a blossom sings,

of stories that the pollens tell—
seeker and sought in each one’s spell.” Nice work.