John, you should be thrilled at being Rhina's first choice. I just read her your comment on the poem, and we are agreed that it is a brilliant parody of a Michael Cantor critique.

I'm very honored that this sonnenizio was chosen, if for no other reason than it was SO freakin' hard to write. I should make clear, since this is the first time some have encountered the sonnenizio form, that according to its inventor, Kim Addonizio, the form does not require meter and a full rhyme scheme. It requires only that the first line be taken from someone else's sonnet; that there be fourteen lines; that each line contain a word from the first line (some people use different words throughout); and that the poem end on a rhymed couplet (slant and other types of rhyme count). So, the bed is not quite as Procrustean as I made it for myself. That said, I have to lie in it, and I'm sympathetic to the criticisms that have been made - even my own! - while at the same time I feel very happy that the poem has tickled at least a couple people. (Tim, I'll admit that Rhina's thrilling vote did not escape my notice.)

And of course I want to extend my thanks to Richard Wilbur for his continued support of the Bake-Off in particular and this community of poets in general. It turns out that it's just as cool as I thought it might be to know, really know, that Richard Wilbur has read one of your poems. It's also a bit nerve-wracking. A poet of his stature brings a high standard to bear, and I'm grateful that he chose to phrase his feedback with tact.

Thanks to all for having read! It's been an honor to have my work discussed at this level, and to share a stage with so many terrific poets.

Richard Wilbur:

Tim just read this to me, and I had no idea what a sonnenizio is, or its preposterous demands, which go far to alleviating my reservations on your grammar. Clay, I started laughing at about the third line of your savage critique of your own work, and I must say that the critique is considerably better than the object of its derision. Good luck with your marriage and law school. I thoroughly approve of the former and have my reservations about the latter.

John,
It is a difficult form, and I think you did very well with it.
The obligation to fit the chosen word into every line is a real challenge.
I must confess that my favourite poems of this type (and I haven't seen that many) are the humorous ones, where the poet really has fun with the variations on the required word, hiding it within another word etc.

It didn't quite gel for me for two reasons--the word swap in the final line doesn't really work, and my very personal feeling that I've seen the autumn leaves motif too often.

I did enjoy your self-critique--that was sneaky and hilarious.

Regards, Maz