This one's my pick so far. I keep coming back to it over and over, and each time find something new to like about it. Lines 7 and 8 are superb.

Yeah, I don't think this one really wastes a word or puts one wrong (well, maybe Stalag evokes a wiesass William Holden for a moment, but what are you gonna do?).

Those three abrupt enjambments strike me as very clumsy and ruin the poem for me. They say that the poet isn't in charge, the rhymes are. But everyone seems to love it, so I offer this criticism sotto voce.

Interesting comment, Dr. Mezey. This sonnet is more to my liking than the one you posted. True, yours is tidier, all the coloring was done inside the lines. But this one's more vivid and affecting; it feels like a poem that was written because it had to be written, not as an academic exercise. To each his own, I guess.


[This message has been edited by Rose Kelleher (edited May 07, 2008).]

These are my sentiments exactly. Only not being sufficiently famous, my sotto voce was completely inaudible.

Where is that sonnet about hunting in the Fifties, with the crocus sack? That one is great.

I see only two arguably abrupt enjambments and they could be fixed thus (if the poet cared to fix them): see/my tears and place/once more.

Is the other one on "Sisters"?

Genuinely affecting poem.

P.S. If the controversial enjambments are flaws I'm reminded of a comment made on the great Tito Schipa: that he may not have been the best tenor but he was the best singer. This may not be the best sonnet in the bunch so far but it is the best poem.

P.P.S. (Sorry!) Lest I appear to be piling on, let me express my appreciation for Robert Mezey, damn fine poet and invaluable editor of Robinson and Hardy and for his services in general. Also, his sotto voce is a brilliant piece of rhetoric. In print, perhaps especially online, his statement's as loud as any other (and he knows it) despite the attendant apology.


[This message has been edited by Mike Slippkauskas (edited May 07, 2008).]

Some awkwardness here: oddly placed caesuras, certain word choices. The concept is strong, but the execution could be better, IMO.

Alan

Wow!!

Haven't had a thrill like this with any of the other sonnets this time around. As for a couple of minor awkwardnesses, they're gone when read aloud--all except for "two-by-two mute marches," which I would work on for a while. Should be "mute two-by-two marches," but that of course is even worse. Ok, rewrite time imo.

Love the wit of "Stalag Kent," the general sense of a satire on The Victorian Childhood.

Now I need to see if anyone has given away the poet.

Very well wrought. I think it may run out of steam at the couplet; if there's one complaint I have about many of the posted sonnets is that they do just that: run out of steam when they ought be cooking higher.

No turn in this sonnet ... this year I'm in a classical mood and prefer sonnets with an obvious volta. Still this is excellent, right in the top.

After reading this one over several times, I wish I'd voted for it. So I'm happy to see it is running in 1st place. I think it deserves to be in 1st. It would seem undemocratic to change my ballot after the curtain has been pulled, so I won't do that.

It's a wonderful poem - takes you back to that place and time to walk in another's shoes. I love that.

Anne