John,
That woman who teaches chavs and chavettes could be me - if they'd asked me first - humph!
Far more rewarding (in more than one sense) to write about teaching than to do it; what a sad indictment of our education system, eh?

Sorry, that sounds like the beginnings of a 'Rant'...(that's another Oldie column I enjoy, and could also write; God knows, I get enough practice!

Sleeper

The man behind me in the theater, snoring,
confirms my own harsh judgment: this is boring.
A famous critic known for smart reviews,
tomorrow he will write 'this was a snooze.'
But few will understand his categorical
and glib dismissal wasn't metaphorical.
He meant just what he said, make no mistake.
His snoring, not the play, kept me awake.

Bob,

Another masterpiece - right on the money!

('theatre' here, of course - 'cos we can't, like, spell proper, innit?)

John, you can get in trouble loving women teachers. I've read it in the papers, so it must be true. Personally, I make straight for 'Not many dead'. Cracking read.

one foot in the grave
 

Jayne - I don't read the Oldie, though I may do so when the need for a stairlift & incontinence pants arises - those ads keep it going - & I treat my weekly/monthly comp entries as ephemera to keep a curb on my vanity. And while I am certainly old, I don't wish to be addressed by a mag as if it's the most important thing about me.

Sorry, sent it twice.

Bazza,
I'm not 'old' but I could have done with a stairlift today! I managed to twist my back somehow, and going upstairs is painful.

The Oldie - Yes, I find some people are dismayed by the name. Whenever I'm telling someone about it, I always feel the need to qualify it with: "Oh, don't worry - it's not like People's Friend."

Just how, exactly, does one define 'old'? Age is just a number. I know plenty of 'old' people who haven't reached forty yet!

No, age is not just a number. And life is not just a greeting card.