Who are more conservative, Speccies or Oldies?

Galvanizing discussion! I offer you Peking, Nanking, and in the name of the U.S., Burger King. The last doesn't rhyme exactly, but it does have possibilities.

And "skanking": dancing in a rhythmic, loose-limbed manner. That should shake things up.

Am I alone in thinking
Of banning Burger King?
Brits are getting fatter,
A health-related matter.
McDonald’s Bigger Mac
Can cause a heart attack.
Mounds of fish and chips
Settle on the hips.
The humble baked bean
Is the enemy of lean.
White buttered toast,
A very English Roast,
Jam roly poly!
The stones! Holy moly!
Go Vegan, I am thinking,
For thin is always king.

Am I alone in thinking
That g.s.m.s are blinking,
At every hour ringing,
Emitting beeps or pinging?
An hourly sms,
You wouldn’t dream of less.
Grammar fails in texting,
Or, when dating, “sexting.”
Oh, for the days of peaceful trains
And waiting rooms without refrains,
No declamations decibels loud,
No satellites or wireless cloud.
No “u”s and “lol”s and “smiley faces,”
No wireless trail to track our traces.
What I am thinking, after all…
“Excuse me! Have to take this call.”

Speccies are conservative. Oldies are old.

Are others apprehending
Codes within the news?
Am I alone contending
That cats require shoes?

Where are the votes for lending
Handguns to the old?
Why are none commending
The benefits of mould?

Sir, when are we suspending
Changing of the times?
Is no one recommending
The poor be trained as mimes?

I’m not alone; perusing
Letters and Op-Eds,
I see a lot of musing
By others off their meds.

Frank

Request of Brits: Is the term "Op-Ed" used and/or understood over there?

hope this helps
 

Yes, I think so, at least among the fairly sophisticated people who are likely to read the comps, though the more usual term over here is 'comment' as in 'facts are sacred, comment is free'.

Am I alone in thinking
That bananas are illusions,
That kumquats are fictitious
And that kiwis are delusions?
There's no such thing as tangerines?
The biggest hoax is melons?
That pears are just the latest fraud
Of lying grocer felons?
I grant you apples do exist,
Thank goodness, and are valid,
But sadly apples by themselves
Produce a dull fruit salad.

In U.S. slang, a shank is a prisoner's homemade knife -- a sharpened toothbrush handle or some such -- and shanking is stabbing someone with same.

Think I've heard 'he shanked it' here in football commentaries meaning a mis-kick.

I had forgotten that shank is a term for a mishit in golf. I think it is to be found in the works of P G Wodehouse, that great and good man.