Oh, well, since Bazza seems to be lying low, noblesse oblige. Every line more or less has a rhyme, although not in a regular order. (I borrowed 'ragout' from Chris.) And I must confess that there's not much of a connection between the acrostic and the subject-matter.

Freddy Fitzherbert Fitzackerly Fortescu,
Utterly clueless, though ‘uper-clarse’ (sic),
Crassly unlettered, and thick as a brick,
Knew, so he thought, how to make a ragout.

Taking some beef that was stringy and tough,
Heaving a packet of old vermicelli
Into the mixture, some rank haricots,
Slivers of mutton that, frankly, were off,

Fillets of cod that were barely so-so,
Oysters, an eight-month-old gift from his father,
Reeking and rancid (but so was his Pa).

All this he believed he had seen on the tel-
Ly, confused with a recipe used by his Ma.
After the meal, his companions felt rather
Regurgitative, and were fatally sick,
Killed off by the scoff from the trough of this toff.

Smartarse.

'Ere, Rob, watch yer mouth, or I'll be sending you a plateful.

Taking a lugubrious and cliché-ridden swing around the chain reaction circle...

Suspecting you had been untrue, I viewed your Facebook chatter;
Rewarding friends with “dividends”? Our arguments grew louder.
Romance you dished to all who wished; it didn’t really matter.
Respect for me would never be; and then you took a powder.

Recalcitrant is my descent from bliss to abject sorrow;
With you moved out, I have no doubt that life will be a bummer.
Remembrance of these past events makes me abhor tomorrow;
Will skies persist to drizzle mist? Will blizzards spoil my summer?

Regretting you … till grass grows blue, till margarine is butter,
Receding seas leave Celebes connected to Australia,
Angolan banks make Marks and Francs the currency they utter,
Rouen decrees a ban on cheese, and Google is a failure.

Escaped from here, I miss you dear, and weep a Mississippi;
Imagining what path will bring me from depressive lapses -
Submerge myself in pomp and pelf, or be a grungy hippie?
Ethanol is best of all to deaden my synapses.

Wow, Douglas!

Tyrannosaurus rex strode -
Elongated femur, tibia and tarsi
In each leg enabling
Gigantic heavy paces.
Speedwise, what may we say?
Yes, such strides covered ground,
Doubtless eating distance up
Practically like prey!
Yet- what rate of progress?
Some suppose T. rex to have
Existed just by ambush-
Hiding till prey passed it,
Then a sudden lunge- Snap!
Perhaps pursuit (but- slow, swift? -
Tracking, chasing prey down?)
No-one knows which way, yet.

I edify myself at length -
Highbrow volumes browse, reclining.
Good grief! Heaven give me strength:
How attention wanes, declining

Gradually into sleep…
Pages crumple; book falls, thumping-
Goading me awake at once,
Ears and eyes alert, heart pumping!

Ghost of willpower drives me on,
Now resuming wordy wending;
Groaning, though! This uphill task
Kindles little joy. I’m tending,

Grade-wise, downward; exams ask
Kabbalistic knowledge from me.
Eating stale starch by the ton
Now haunts my dreams; I bloat with ennui.

Mister Whitworth
Has a poem
(Many notice)
Ever-ready;

Years’ worth of 'em!
Miles of writing,
Generated
Donkeys’ lives back,

Kept against the
Exigency,
Years or decades
(Some guess), later-

Ripe and apt to
Offer then as
Submi-ssions.
Serious, some;

Earthy, no few;
Worthy, wistful,
Longing, soulful…
Lastly, oft-time,

Entries comic!
Competitions
Sailed triumphant
Through, to finish,

He has known, and
Dark days (lacking
Gleanings meagre -
Even ‘hon mensh’)

He’s experienced;
Dogged, persists,
Subtly splendid,
Doughty, dauntless;

Spry his humour,
Ribald, poignant…
That is how he
Ever writes ‘em.

Why thank you, Graham. I never knew you cared.

Douglas, I spell it 'till'. What do other Sphereans do? Your poem is a many splendoured thing.

John, when it's a stand-alone word, I spell it till. But Douglas is using 'til, the abbreviated form of until.

I was thinking of 'Till Death do us part' and 'You never miss the water till the well goes dry'. I can't remember ever writing 'til in any context. Perhaps I should have, but it does look messy.