The Shepherd and the Nymph

“Consent, dear, our lives to unite
and we shall sweet verses recite
.....surrounded by sheep
.....and roses a-heap,
in a bower of rustic delight.”

....................--

“I’m flattered by such a tableau
but your verses are only so-so,
.....your sheep make me sneeze
.....and your roses don’t please,
so my answer, sweet shepherd, is no.”

Forgotten Heroes

1. Gunga Dung

Yer a better man than I am Gunga Dung
wid yer telescopic tonsil-ticklin’ tongue,
word abaht the Khyber pass
sez that you can lick yer arse,
an’ yer draggin’ on the ground yer so well hung.

OUT! OUT!

The saw makes the boy's hand a shred.
He should have had dinner instead.
... The boy, alas, dies,
... and everyone cries,
then moves on, since they are not dead.


...

No Piazza Piece

A dust-coated gentleman stuck
At a trellis, not having much luck,
Called up, “May I come in?”
The girl said with chagrin,
“There's no way, sir! You’re such an old schmuck.”




[This message has been edited by Mark Blaeuer (edited May 13, 2006).]

Forgotten Heroes

2. Molly Doolittle

Can't ya wait Enri Iggins, can't ya wait
ev'ry time that we make love when on a date?
I'm more buxom than Eliza.
an' I really knows ya tries, ya
must take more time before ya 'jaculate.

Trees

I never expect that I'll see
a poem as nice as a tree.
... But isn't it odd
... omnipotent God
can't seem to write poems good as me?

Forgotten Heroes

3. Mrs Sisyphus

He's out and up each day like bloody clock
work, I sit home and listen for his knock,
for when the sun goes down
I don a skimpy gown--
he's just as dumb but harder than his rock

The Panther

The panther in Paris was lord
of his prison, and thoroughly bored.
He longed to ingest
his zookeeper's chest
as a perk, or perhaps an award.

(Warning: non-pc)


The Dwarf's Song

I must have been sketched by a witch
or a god who is turning out kitsch.
Am I really so flawed?
Was I made by a fraud?
Or am I a Microsoft glitch?

Au Lecteur

Of all the foul things you could mention,
pestilence, war and dissension,
... it's easy to see
... the demon Ennui,
is worst, or at least in contention.