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Who wrote this lovely sonnet? It was my first pick (and many others' as well...)

Scroll down the Didtinguished Guest form page to the "The Poets (Don't peek until you've voted)" thread. All is revealed there.

David R.

Mr. Wilbur evidently thought the N of Maz's sonnet was sent to the shore of the Dead Sea for her health. Thinking that, The crabs reference apparantly seemed a mistake to him, as there are none in the Dead Sea. I think he couldn't fully appreciate the poem without the information Rose imparted to the rest of us...that Dead Sea Mud is a cosmetic preparation, for facial mud-masks.
He saw a lot to like in the sonnet nonetheless, but seemingly not so much as we here were able to see in it.


[This message has been edited by Golias (edited May 14, 2008).]

Thanks so much for all your comments on this poem. I've written some sonnets as a sort of exercise, but in this one, I was trying hard to describe something that actually happened to me--or two experiences--so I have more invested in it.

I was concerned that, as I often do, I'd tried to stuff too much information into this sonnet. I can sometimes hear my sonnets creaking at the seams.

I was in Boots (the chemists) and I opened a jar of face-pack made with Dead Sea mud. The smell hit me, and evoked such a vivid memory of something I hadn't thought about for years.

Mark and Rose picked up on the fact that the sonnet concerns the powerful way a smell can stir our memories.

Several people have commented on the poem's technical faults--which I wouldn't dispute for a moment--and though, of course, I'd like to write a flawless sonnet (some hopes!), it really means a great deal to me that some people seemed to find an emotional connection with the sonnet. That's what I hope to do when I write, to communicate in some way.

I appreciate all of your comments, but I'll just respond specifically to a few, for fear of boring you any more than necessary.

Simon,
What would you do with the couplet?
Quincy,
I agree about the title. I'd changed it to incorporate more information about the contents of the jar, and it seems very clumsy. Yes, it needs another title.
Susan,
It's funny you should mention 'Jane Eyre' because I remarked to someone that the place was rather like Lowood House. It was stuck in the 19th century, rather than the 20th.
Mike,
Thanks for those very useful fixes re the enjambments. They look good to me.
Kate,
I thought there was a volta, but only a weedy one. In the octave, I'm right in the memory--in the sestet, I'm stepping back a bit into the present, commentating on the past. Yes, the more I think about it, the more weedy the turn seems. Could I call it a half-turn?

Regards, Maz

Dear Maz,

I just wanted to say once again how much I love your sonnet. Congratulations on its being the number one pick!

Cathy