There isn’t a stiffy this side of the Liffey.

Brill!

A stiffy! A stiffy! It's a hard-on, you know.

Roger, surely monoceros/rhinoceros is identity rather than perfect rhyme as usually defined? Some people call it rime riche to make it seem better than what's normally considered perfect rhyme, but they don't fool me. ;-) Which is why I said I wouldn't "stoop to" trichoceros.

Picky, picky, picky.

Maybe, Roger, though you did say something about a perfect rhyme without "resorting to a coinage", which made it appear that you were being picky about coinages. Actually, they often add to the fun in light verse, dont they?

Would you believe that I say the "n" in rhinoceros slightly differently from the way I say the "n" in "monoceros," a matter of millimeters in tongue placement, and this small difference is enough to convert it from an identity to a rhyme?

No, I didn't think so.

Oh well, can't win them all.

Whenever you see a rhinocerous
Stampeding in an awful fuss
(What gets them so pissed off at us?)
Make sure that your sarcophagus
Is prepped in the necropolis
(It's antlike, not grasshopperous
To plan, should one not stop for us)
Cause they can land on top of us
And make beef stroganoff of us.

WHENEVER YOU SEE A RHINOCEROS

Whenever you see a rhinoceros,
**be sure to step aside.
Give it wide berth as you would a bus.
Whenever you see a rhinoceros,
assume it won’t blow it’s horn, and don’t cuss.
**I say this as friend and guide:
whenever you see a rhinoceros,
**be sure to step aside.

Chuffed to hear y'all enjoyed my post. Am otherwise speechless at the moment, having just raced back to the city to make the rental car deadline...two minutes late, and they let it go.

Terese, it's as good in its way as anything I've read of yours. Ten horns!

Do they hunt rhinos from camels? The market I'd think would mostly be for Year of the [insert animal figure] dudes, who credit sympathetic magic for reptile power.