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Bob, please put me down for a copy of the first printing of your book. May I suggest a title (always the hardest part)? How about "Bad Verse Gets Worse".
I hope you will write a Foreword about how we all discouraged you and said you couldn't do it, but you persisted and the reader is holding the proof in his and her hands and no one should ever give up. I always dutifully read the Forewords and Prefaces and Introductions, and Afterwords and Index of First Lines and when they are heroically worded like yours will be, it brings tears to my eyes and hope to my thumping heart. I am devoted to Lewis Carroll and Ogden Nash and I think your flimsy little offerings are very like a whale. Honest I do. |
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Signed, Cantor, Whitworth, Gwynn, a few ladies who don't want their names mentioned, and me Humph! |
What are you talking about? I met Cantor. He's what? 27? Maybe 32, tops?
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Ogden Nash is apropos. Didn't he say that he had a choice between being a bad Good Poet or a good Bad Poet and chose the latter? What Bob is showing us in this thread is a bunch of top-notch Bad Poetry. Excellent bad stuff. & yes, I would read a book of it.
Chris |
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I have been acknowledged by another repulsive bunch but as yet no glittering prize or fame has been offered. |
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Nice save. :rolleyes: |
Janet, and you didn't go? Think about the film star. It might have been Tom Cruise. Or even better, it might not. I once received a cheque from the fair hands of J.K. Rowling herself. She's very short. The cheque was very small.
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Here I am, answering myself. And here is a poem by me which is worse than anything on this thread. It must be by me because it is on the poetry.com site and my name is on the bottom. Must have written it in my sleep. Someone must have written it is their sleep.Come on Sam. It was you. I herby repudiate copyright. Anyone can have it. Of course there could be another John Whitworth poet. In which case alter JW YOU MUST DIE!!!
Untitled As my life as moved Like fingers through clear blue crystal water, I have come to know people Who ripple the stream that is me Bright, Beautiful, and Breathtaking Who stand at a road of opportunity I can't look at her Not without seeing images that Would sadden me in some way I can't see her I can't taste the ruby prism lips Or press my lips lightly against her Kissing every square inch of that face without knowing the bitter truths (for now) And tasting them like ill medicine. John Whitworth Copyright ©2009 John Whitworth |
It is wise of you to append the copyright sign, John. Good bad poets often neglect to do so, though most bad poets always remember. Is that what I meant to say? I'm not sure. But hopefully you will sort it out.
BTW. Is Cantor real? I thought that he was a myth used to frighten bad little poets with. |
Michael Cantor is a bad good poet of indeterminate age.
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Come to think of it, I don't know for sure that I met Michael Cantor. It was at a reading in New York. Several of us were "meeting" for the first time, though, for all I know, any of the people I met could have been lurkers on this board who decided to show up and impersonate their betters. Like a fool, I never asked to see a picture ID. Now I'm wondering if the real Michael actually has a purple tattoo across his forehead saying IAMB A(NA)PEST, with a little smiley face right next to it, or was I merely fooled by an eerily plausible impersonation?
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If only, John. Perhaps you have a doppelganger, c. f. William Wilson-Whitworth. Of the muse strikes you in the sodden late night hours.
"Sammie Gwynn," an androgynous figure, bears responsibilty for all of my entries to poetry.com. |
I have met Michael Cantor, but he likes to be known as "Banjo Eyes." You should hear him sing "Mandy."
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Well, I've had a grand time reading all these, but I have to wonder, have any
of you even read McGonagall? I mean, the stuff here isn't even close! Here is my effort: The Verrazano Narrows Bridge Praise to the bridge of Verrazano, protect it from seagulls and their guano. It offers a view of the Statue of Liberty, a finer sight I doubt you will ever see. Its grey towers reach up to the sky I cannot believe that they are so high and if they do suffer from a little rust the Port Authority will fix them soon, I trust. It carries the wee cars and the mighty trucks in a grand style ever so deluxe from Brooklyn, so brazenly bold and violent, to the lush verdant shores of Staten Island. It has two roadways, one upper, one lower, but I never know which one will be slower. I'd like to take a picture, but I know that I can't because it might help terrorists a bomb to plant. So hail the mighty bridge named after Verrazano, and if you don't think it is grand, I'll fight you mano-a-mano! |
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These are awful parodies of Irish songs.
Kathleen What promises poor Kathleen heard! I'll take you home again, they said, across the ocean wild and wide. She learned they never meant a word; and had no wish to take a bride The blackguards sought her maidenhead. The Stone Outside Dan Murphy's Door There's a place in me bollocks that's hurting I'm convinced it was absent before. Irecall that I got it while flirting On the stone outside Dan Murphy's door. |
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