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-   -   Speccie: Wakey Wakey (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=10235)

Susan McLean 03-01-2010 09:59 AM

Though sleepless, I am risk-averse.
I toss and turn. It could be worse.
I could be stumbling, more than pissed,
a narcotized somnambulist,
wearing pyjamas in the street,
splashing through puddles with bare feet.
I could be gorging mindlessly
or driving blindly towards a tree.
I’ll take insomnia instead:
still wide awake, but safe in bed.

A few questions for British readers of this: Is Ambien sold under that name in the UK? Are these side effects widely known there?

Because I was informed that in the UK the drug is sold under the name Stilnoct, I changed it and made some minor changes to punctuation and wording. But then I learned that brand names of sleep drugs are less known in the UK, so I have gone more generic.

Roger Slater 03-01-2010 11:01 AM

I listen to the faucet drip,
the ice-cube maker grind,
and suddenly the perfect quip
comes popping in my mind

I could have used at lunch today
had I been arch and clever ...
instead of what I chose to say,
which was, "OK, whatever."

Insomnia makes all things right.
By day, I'm slow, unsure.
But sleepless in my bed at night,
I'm quite the raconteur.

Jayne Osborn 03-01-2010 01:38 PM

Hi Susan,

I haven't found any mention of either Ambien or Stilnoct in my book, imaginatively called 'Medicines' (though it's not exactly bang up to date) and I've certainly not heard of anything remotely like those names. What symptoms are they prescribed for? Maybe I can find something else that's more well-known for you to use, if you give me some details.

Susan McLean 03-01-2010 01:54 PM

Jayne, Ambien is used by millions in the US to treat insomnia. It was mentioned a lot in the news recently as the cause of Tiger Woods' notorious car crash and has been associated with sleepwalking, sleep driving, and sleep eating. In an online search I learned that hundreds of thousands in the UK use it for insomnia, though it is called Stilnoct there (and Stilnox in Australia, where it has been associated with deaths from falls from a balcony and a bridge).

On further thought, I have decided to eliminate the brand name entirely and have edited the poem to reflect that. Thanks, Jayne.

Susan

Jayne Osborn 03-01-2010 04:26 PM

Susan,

Thanks for all that info. Since I 'sleep the sleep of the pure in heart' I know zilch about such things as sleeping pills, fortunately. Working hard and mooching about on the sphere (often way past my bedtime) usually ensures a good night's 'kip' for me!

I agree with your decision; your poem's better without the brand names, anyway. One small nit: L8
or driving calmly toward a tree - 'or driving calmly at a tree' would fit better.

Susan McLean 03-01-2010 05:52 PM

Jayne, I took your advice for L8. Am I right that "narcotized" is spelled with a "z" there? Here we tend to spell it with an "s."

Susan

Jayne Osborn 03-01-2010 06:02 PM

Hi Susan,

While '-ize' is more usual as a suffix, '-ise' is given as an alternative in the dictionary, so it doesn't really matter which you use.

John Whitworth 03-01-2010 08:32 PM

I think in the US toward(s) is pronounced tward, which would make the line OK. But then Lucy might not know that. It MAY be pronounced that way in upper class English, like 'forrid' for fore-head, though that may just be an old pronunciation. My stepmother, not upper class, always said accrawse (across) and stuff liike that.

-ize is supposedly the English form, though I use either.

basil ransome-davies 03-02-2010 02:44 AM

L'esprit d'escalier
 
Hi Susan –

'Toward' is one of many English words that can be pronounced/scanned as two syllables or elided to one. I'm white trash myself, but I generally say 'tward' (and 'forrid', for that matter and I incorrectly tend to pronounce 'decade' as an iam thanks to bloody Auden's use of it as an end-rhyme with 'afraid'). At any rate, you don't have a problem with the scansion and Lucy is sophisticated enough to understand that sheer plonking metronomic regularity is no special virtue. 'Driving at a tree' suggests a degree of intentionality (though you may, ah, intend this in a wry fashion, as in a subconscious wish).

Roger – a neat riff on what the French call 'staircase wit'.


Bazza

John Whitworth 03-02-2010 05:32 AM

White trash, Bazza? And you (like me) a grammar school boy. I say 'forrid' too, mainly because of the limerick with the middle lines

The result was quite horrid
All arse and no forehead

Which is a rhyme one wouldn't lightly give up. What we want to know is, 'What does Liz up Buck House say?' Surely 'toward' instead oif 'towards' is American. And none the worse for that, I may add. YThe lines, Susan, seem to me very neat just as they are.


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