A sparrow who sailed on the Beagle
had sex with a winsome bald eagle.
He later was heard
to exclaim: "What a bird!
And Charles Darwin assures me it's legal."

Galapagos birds rarely flew,
a lack of course few of them knew,
since life was so passive
their pinions, once massive,
had atrophied where they once grew.


A man who resembled an ape
affected a flowing black cape.
Though girls were aware he
was arty and hairy
they still rather fancied his shape.

Not entries:

Though Darwin’s work was exempt
From traces of pride and contempt
When he tried to distinguish
Spanish from English
His beard became long and unkempt.



Charles spoke of organic matter
At a tea party with the Mad Hatter,
Who said “We are damaged,
But still you have managed
To breed like a rabbit or satyr.”

A man named Charles Darwin offended
a woman whose knees often bended.
..."The fossils are lying,"
...she prayed, almost crying,
"From angels, not apes, man descended."


Darwin's Response:

Humanity's source as I teach it
is nobler than how preacher's preach it.
...From angels we plummet
...away from the summit,
from apes we're still rising to reach it.

Poor Darwin, insulted by friend
as by foe! He's too dead to defend
...himself when depicted
...as grocer-afflicted
with a plural he'd never have penned.

EMBRYOGENESIS

In Darwin’s incredible treatise,
he said our developing fetus
**is a sea squirt, a fish,
**a tree frog. My wish?
That it won’t grow too monstrous and eat us.

REVERSE EVOLUTION

Humankind will revert to the ape
fifty years from now — there’s no escape;
**for computers will do
**all the things humans knew
when their gray matter still had some shape.

ON DEBARKING FROM THE BEAGLE

When we landed, an affable Tortoise
ambled cheerfully toward us, then poured us
**sweet Galapagos wine,
**but we opted to dine
on its flesh. So? It should have ignored us!

NEWS

Many folks were dismayed by the news
humankind is descended from ooze;
**that their roots are the mud
**on their boots, that their blood
is related to apes in their zoos.

DARWIN’S DARING

Though his theories are now irrefutable
and demonstrate life’s not immutable,
**not that long ago those
**who chose to oppose
the rule were adjudged executable.

A LINK

Evolution implies there’s a link
between us and the germs in our sink;
**but my friend, rest her soul,
**had not washed her soup bowl,
and her kin bumped her off in a wink.

Fine batch, Martin!


Darwin

These days, alas, no one among us
can bring us the breakthrough he brung us.
...You have to admit
...he knew quite a bit
for one who descended from fungus.

That last one is absolutely brilliant.

Thanks, Roger. Yours, however, is the best one I've seen on this topic. It's not only clever, but profound. Superb!

DARWIN’S BEARD

Darwin’s beard simply grew and it grew.
Said his wife, “You’ll be put in a zoo.”
**She was further distressed
**when her husband confessed
that reverse evolution was true.

EVOLUTION

From algae to Man to the heavens
evolved a strange wonder named Evans.
**He reached a far planet,
**got the nod from what ran it,
and built eighteen new 7-Elevens.

Here is a gross one:

A CONCERNED SKEPTIC SPEAKS OUT

Mr. Darwin’s been watching those birds again
and writing nonsensical words again
**on that theme of selection,
**and his pallid complexion
suggests he’s been eating finch turds again.

Thanks, John and Martin. Martin, any profundity is purely accidental. All I had in mind was setting up a rhyme for "fungus."

I suppose we can all stop writing these things now because the contest deadline has passed (and my "fungus" was written after the deadline).

Still,don't let me stop anyone. Bring them on!