CHOOSING A PET

Keep your hamsters, rabbits, gerbils.
I don't care much for such furballs.

The only pet I would take freely in
would be a lizard, snake or chameleon.

Keep your goldfish and your guppies.
Keep your parakeets and puppies.

The only pet I would accept I'll
make darn certain is a reptile.

The biggest, most expensive bird'll
please me far less than a turtle.

Reptiles are glum
rabbits are dumb
tarantulas give me the creeps

guppies succumb
lizards are mum
puppies leave icky brown heaps

snakes are satanic
parrots a panic
cats are all psychoneurotics

I'd like an organic
nonmonomanic
servant that's straight from Robotics.

Possums all seep,
Goannas creep,
kangaroos dither and leap.

Koalas sit,
bandicoots nit,
snakes simply slither and sleep.

Parrots are freebirds,
currawongs treebirds,
dingoes just lie in a heap.

Animal owners
had better be loners
or find somewhere better to sleep.
----

I see the cranial thud is still
a stronger force than mere free will.
A kangaroo gives joy unbounded
once its weapons are impounded--
knuckle dusters, steel-capped boots
and pogo sticks. It executes
parabolas and turns to charm
the kanga girls, which can alarm
the wombats gamely plodding past
aware each step may be their last.
Cuddles one day, tucker next,
emus and roos are sorely vexed,
but restaurants in Sydney serve
choice cuts of national symbols. Nerve
like that makes eagles flinch and fly
in case the US has a try
at serving national eagle pie.



[This message has been edited by Janet Kenny (edited June 05, 2004).]

[quote]Originally posted by Roger Slater:
Don't be rude!
The subject was food.
Now let's get back
on track...


Perhaps I was rude, and spoiled the mood,
but I wanted to know more of you than your food.
I wanted to know why you’re happy with this,
if you’ve weathered the bliss of your Zen-filled kiss;
I wanted to read what you’re running towards
or what you are reaping from all your rewards.
Where do you live, and what are you proud of?
Who is it that loves you and whom do you love?

I want you to want to know these things of me;
I know that you know you can pick the degree
to which we acquaint ourselves, obviously.
A versed correspondence meant something to me.



------------------

Zita Z.

I went to Australia once.
The flora made me feel a dunce.

It wasn't just that all the trees
were weird, but the Antipodes

have all that water when it rains
that rushes backward down the drains

until you can't tell left from right
or how and where you spent the night.

Worst of all, Strines get migraines
flowing backward in their brains.

Caveat: the cute koala
isn't cuddly in Whyalla;

furthermore, no extradition
treaty covers crucifixion.

And do not smuggle Veggi-mite
from Sydney to the Isle of Wight.

Though they say it keeps like candy,
Strines like stuff that makes them randy.



[This message has been edited by Terese Coe (edited June 06, 2004).]

It's really rather un-PC
to speak of beasts generically.

Though certain reptiles may be glum,
after all there must be some

misbegotten crocodile
somewhere who prefers to smile,

and I do not believe that all a
vibrant, healthy, cute koala

does is sit as kangaroos
leap and dither where they choose.

Terese your poem’s very clever
I didn’t know that you had ever
visited the Never Never.
I’ll answer later
--for your data
Strine’s the lingo.
What we call the Aussie argot.

Semper Fidelis

A message from your animal companions


We are your dogs,
we are your cats;
we never ever
leave you flat.

When not one human
seems to care,
when lovers fail you,
we'll be there,

warm and purring
by your head,
or curled up there
beside the bed.

Your latest squeeze
has just skipped town?
Your furry friends
won't let you down.

Roger, I live in reptile heaven.
We're known, of course, for our giant gators,
the least of which are at least seven
feet, the big ones, Mr. Slater,
can be five yards or even longer.
I don't believe I've seen one smile;
their charm is slight, their swagger stronger.
Winning friends is not their style.
My yard's a haven for several snakes
who snooze amid the ferns and grass
and wrap themselves around (like fakes)
the irrigation hoses--pass
themselves off as garden accessesories.
The lizards are especially welcome guests:
they're absolutely necessary
for getting rid of West Nile pests.
A couple of them became quite bold
and moved into my house one time.
Chameleons both, their blood was cold,
but their personalities sublime.
One in particular won my heart
by setting up its new domain
on my lovely old Victorian tea cart.
Over the months, it became quite tame.
With a fountain for water and a plant light
for sunning, and some bugs for a snack,
it moved with ease from dull to bright
to brown to green and then right back.
But kittens moved in and I had to spare
my reptile friends an awful fate.
I rescued them with loving care
when I knew we could no longer wait.
The one who had designer knack
has had a comedown, I'm sad to say,
and now lives in a peat moss sack--
I saw it just the other day.



[This message has been edited by Diane Dees (edited June 06, 2004).]

If fishes made wishes
they’d wish that knishes,
so crisp and delicious,
were found on all dishes
instead of nutritious
fishes and vicious
nets that man swishes
were deemed too malicious
and banned as pernicious
and unfair to fishes.