This will be cute when you're done. = You may have thought you posted a poem but it looks half-baked to me.

I smirked out loud at Le Deep End, c'est moi.

Apres moi le dessert,

Dan

This may be interesting writing, but is it a poem? = Shit, sorry, I've just committed a mortal sin, haven't I?

Nash, flaws are certainly forgivable, and inevitable, as poets (the ones I know anyway) are merely mortals. But I don't see how flaws, minor or otherwise, might "enhance" a poem, unless you consider near-perfection to be somehow suspect.

One can be put off by poems which appear too polished. I would imagine though, that in such cases either one is correct, and the poems are too surface-slick for their own good (in other words flawed), or one is too easily intimidated by a well-constructed poem.

Of course, if you're religious you might consider near-perfection to be an insult to your god. Derek Mahon put this case beautifully in his poem 'Lives':

The time that I liked
Best was when
I was a bump of clay

In a Navaho rug,
Put there to mitigate
The too god-like

Perfection of that
Merely human artifact...



[This message has been edited by Mark Granier (edited July 14, 2005).]

Mark,

You make an excellent point. = I pretty much agree but I feel like being difficult.

It raises the question of just what a flaw is. = I'm avoiding the point now.

Next I'll try to distract you with a vaguely related tale.

I had a large painting of mine mounted on foam core that got damaged moving once. So I tore the whole thing into several smaller pieces, then wired them back together with thick wire and fine steel thread. I used a little more paint to make those rips just a bit more gruesome.. I like the painting even better now. I can find perfection in virtually anything but of course there is still always room for improvement.

So, now I have basically contradicted myself.. My perspectives change day to day, in part on account of what you say. My point was more about finding flaws that aren't really there because of the pressure to give a respectable crit here. From another perspective it is probably good, as motivation to really look close - a subtle change can make a big difference (for better or worse). I still think being honest about what we like is important also though.

-nash

0 <--- may not be a perfect circle. But it's a perfect whatever it is.

Apologies if I've misread this. It's your poem = Only a fool would ignore my Critique of Death.

[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited July 15, 2005).]

Critic's comment:

What I think you’re trying to say is = as if you have any thoughts worth writing about…get a clue.


Author's reaction:

What I think you’re trying to say is = what I was trying to say is what I said…get a clue.

Have you considered cutting some adjectives? = This is a string of vagaries and generalizations!

I've had it with this place! = See y'all next week