It certainly doesn't suit the contest, Roger, but I'd love to know more - I'm always on the lookout for new sins to be tempted by.

Christopher Fry wrote an inspired line about the deadly sins in The Lady's Not for Burning. Thomas Mendip says, "And it's better to go for the lively ones."

I doubt I have it in me to submit seven poems for this competition. So my plan is to rank the deadlies in order of liveliness -- lust in first place, sloth in the cellar -- and work my way down the list until I run out of steam, or out of time.

It's better to go for the lively ones

That would exclude necrophilia, then?

I love work. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K Jerome

Chris's point made me think...

Yes, lust is the liveliest sin,
for although it strives to end in
the murmur of death,
a gasp, then one breath,
and life must resume or begin.

When asked to give up deadly sins
I've never whined or fussed
Renouncing gluttony, envy, pride,
Wrath, greed, sloth . . . but lust???

I’m quite incapable of sin;
My rectitude’s like iron.
Of course, I’ve got my pride - but then,
I am the alpha lion.

This girl said “What about a spot of lust?”
She’s really gorgeous, I was nothing loth.
But as I started nibbling her bust,
I nodded off, thwarted of sex by sl...(yawns)

We’ve got these friends, they’re rather Cheam-and-Suttony
Home Counties types. We went to them for dinner;
You couldn’t say that they go in for gluttony -
Nouvelle cuisine, but smaller, meaner, thinner.

Can you guess my mortal sin?
Am I a lech, a grouch, a glutton?
A lazy, jealous, prideful Scrooge?
Whatever you guess, it's on the button.