Roger, your Time Travel is far better than should be allowed here. Compared to it, what's Updike? (PBUH)

I also think your My Heart Has Ears is also very funny in a bilobar way.

I feel like procrastinating right now.

[Withdrawn for submission]

A real (worst poem contest) winner -- Julie!!!
Rock on.

I think the bad poems really should be good poems, but Julie's poem overdoes it a bit and is far too good to be considered a bad poem. I think it's fabulous, actually.

Yes, it is fabulous, and so is Bob's one about time taking the train.

We are sure to see both of them gracing highly reputable sites.

Some people just can't write a bad poem no matter how hard they try,

Bob, I'm afraid you're regressing. I think you peaked with the frog poem. Your recent efforts, especially Time Travel, are far too good. It's possible you're just a flash-in-the-pan Bad Poet. Better get back to your comfort zone.

Not being rude, just being honest.

FLOWERS

I think that I shall never smell
a perfume sweet as asphodel

or roses in their well-tilled bed
whose air-borne pollen fills my head

to overcome my soul's great shyness
while doing damage to my sinus.

But that's a price I gladly pay
for smelling flowers every day.

Fools like me can blow their noses,
but only God can give us roses.

The Pain in My Heart

I was looking for something in the garage
And I found your dusty golf-cart.
Your fishing rod leans in the corner
Like this lonely pain in my heart.

In the closet your shirts still hang
Like a memory that will not depart.
Some of them have long collars like
This longstanding pain in my heart.

In the drawer I found a metal bracket
That must be a spare part
To something. It reminded me
Of your loss, this pain in my heart.

Wherever I look in the house
I feel love's wounding dart
And it hurts me as sorely as
Angina, the pain in my heart.

Sam, is it just my imagination, or do you keep on getting worse every day? Bravo!

HERO

My wife and daughter think I'm brave,
but no, I'm just an average Joe
with populations I must save.
And when I save them, I will go.

I'd like to take a bow, of course,
but that's not what I do it for.
I'm not John Wayne upon a horse.
I'm just an average Joe at war.

Let politicians fight their fight.
Democracy, you know,
makes all decisions come out right
in the life of an average Joe.

Bob, here's the bad news: "Flowers" is good. The last two lines are, I'm sorry to say , brilliant. The good news is, "Hero" is bad.

Sam's "The Pain in My Heart" is a gem. Or should I say 'lump of coal'?