My favorite is the Gypsy Rose Lee one..."taken it all off at last"! *hahaha and eww*

Epitaph: Soldier

There was a war. I guess I died.
My mom and dad though must have cried.

LOVE the reference to Roethke in the last line :) For surely, when Gypsy Rose moved, she "moved more ways than one"...

R.



[This message has been edited by Robt_Ward (edited March 15, 2007).]

Donor

Kidneys, eyeballs, teeth and knees,
help yourself to all of these.
As I'm dead, why should I care--
every organ is a spare.

and then there is the classic by Max Adeler:

Obituary

Little Alexander's dead;
Jam him in a coffin;
Don't have as good a chance
For a fun'ral often.

Rush his body right around
To the cemetery;
Drop him in the sepulchre
With his Uncle Jerry.

[This message has been edited by Martin Rocek (edited March 20, 2007).]

. . . . and as you sit, below I moulder;
Be thankful you're not even colder.

My ass is down below the sod
Still waiting for that kick from God.

I wish that I were feeling better.
That won't happen anymore.
Beneath the sod, it's always wetter
And the worms here are a bore.

Here lies Jacob, trials past--
finally laid and stiff at last.

Here lies Bill Clinton--this grave his,
and he is dead--and "is" is "is."

Epitaph for a Beauty
Sort of like Susan McLean's Gypsy Rose Lee epitaph except I don't know what ecdysiast means.

WARNING: There are words in this epitaph.

Are you sure you want to read it?

It's kind of gross. You might want to skip it.

Most men preferred to see my lovely skin
Right where they all would rashly stick it in.
But now I wait, and no man wants to stare
Through fresh-made worm holes in my underwear.

I warned you.

WARNING: not for the faint of heart


POOR, POOR, CHENEY


Here lies that scampy Scooter,
he did a clever trick:
the only man to neuter
a Bush from his own Dick.


Robert Meyer