Deck the Halls 2010 #1: Foxgloves
 

Foxgloves


Mozart does it so neatly,
answering every question posed.
I swear his concerto billowing out the porch
attracts bird song.
                                                  Their song
is not so neatly balanced as the master’s,
their melodies can end in queries
or falter in mid-arc without resolution
while no matter how far Mozart’s questing strays
it always folds back to its origin
not just by counterpoint but re-affirmation
as if the world made sense.

Beyond the porch the shaggy foxgloves
droop their furiously maculate lilac bells,
broad leaves uneven, some prematurely yellowed
and these are nothing like Mozart,
more ragged life, shedding and beautiful,
its messy menstrual necessities even
in crescendo trumpeting decay.

(In fact when earlier I tried to straighten
the foxgloves’ winding stalks

they would have none of it.
See how they curl like snakes?)

And, we're off with Deck the Halls, 2010!

As your host for this event, I now declare this event open and encourage one and all to read, enjoy ... and if the spirit moves you, add a comment or two.

Welcome again to Catharine! And I urge everyone to make her feel welcome! She will be stopping by soon with her comments.


This is free verse that can’t be accused of being chopped prose. The lines develop deliberately, perhaps due the preponderance of end-stopped lines. Each line contains about 3 or 4 stresses, looking at them from the accentual verse perspective. The contents show a writer comfortable with music and able to provide a technical analysis (dénouement?) in comprehensible every-day language through comparison with the birdsong (and I recommend the author make this one word in L4 – the standard spelling in the major dictionaries).

This is an accomplished, delightful poem that rewards reading and re-reading.

Cheers,
…Alex

Comments on "Foxgloves"
 

This fine free-verse poem is like a spiral staircase rising into the air (rather than up to a visible structure). There are subtle landings (transitions) and turnings as the poem moves toward an unpredictable conclusion. Then, there you are, at the top, having risen into space, having gotten the whole under your feet, recognizing the principle that sustains the poem, yet looking outward also. ---Although a concerto, not an opera, is mentioned, the snake and birds are oblique reminders of 'The Magic Flute.'
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I remember a discussion on foxgloves this summer on NonMet though I didn't follow along. I just remember it because I read a post or two at the time I was trying to transplant some in my own garden.

This is a lovely poem and it is nice to see a free verse opening the event. I think I remember the author but am not sure.

Fine work.

Furiously maculate!

It's competently done, with every word in its right place and so on, but I find it kind of boring -- all craft and cerebellum, but no edge or charm.

Except for the last four lines I might agree with you, Walter; but I love the last four lines!

A really deft and sly use of parentheses.

Nemo

Yes, I agree that the parentheses are done very well and that the poem pivots at that point and provides an unexpected end (one that couldn't happen without the non-parenthetical build-up), but there's too much crescendo and not enough FORTE.

I, too, think the concluding four lines constitute the strongest part of the poem.

minor nit: I think birdsong is one word.

This is elegantly written, and I enjoy the descriptions. But the contrast between Mozart and Nature feels too pat to me, too self-evident. Somehow the snaky foxgloves at the end seem to me to want to say something less obvious about the ways of the world than the earlier part of the poem would suggest.

Susan

I agree with Orwn and Susan. Despite having certain seductive qualities, this poem is ultimate clinical in nature.

I think the poem actually happens here:

Mozart does it so neatly,
answering every question posed.
I swear his concerto billowing out the porch
attracts bird song.
Their song
is not so neatly balanced as the master’s,
their melodies can end in queries
or falter in mid-arc without resolution
while no matter how far Mozart’s questing strays
it always folds back to its origin
not just by counterpoint but re-affirmation
as if the world made sense.

and nothing new happens after that. The switch to foxgloves doesn't give me any new insight, it just restates the point.

The best line here is:

their melodies can end in queries

and I would have liked to see that idea developed.

But yes, hopefully FV will make a good showing in DTH 2010. A few foxgloves among the clipped hedges!

Philip

I admired it at once. Love the opening line as well as the ending of the second stanza. The lush foxglove-stanza is very nice, and the two last stanzas charming. I think it’s wonderfully written.

The lines have strong bones and the poem sounds good. I also like the sentiment of the final lines, and there are very resonant pieces here and there. I think "as if the world made sense" and "and these are nothing like Mozart" are unnecessary guideposts that get in the way instead of deepen anything.

Meanwhile, I have to say the Mozart seems to get a bad rap here. One of the things I think is remarkable about mozart in particular is his swagger, brashness, and emotion. Sure it all comes home in the end, but that is the surprising wonder of it more than anything else. I think a more precise-sounding and meticulous-sounding composer (Bach? Haydn? I dunno...) would have worked beeter as the poster child for "neatness" and straightness. This actually threw me off a little at the start -- the first line did not match my intuitive impression of Mozart.

David R.

Is anyone else having a problem viewing this thread? The poem no longer appears, at least on my computer screen. The posts show up, but not the poem.

Richard

I'm having the same problem. The site is a bit clunky this morning.

The picture-backgrounds has now been added to the posts with the poems in them. I have to conclude that the pictures are related to any technical problems people are having. You need to let Alex know, with full technical details about your browser and version.

Do you folks see nothing at all in the first post, or do you see the background image and not the words, or what?

Firefox version 3.6.3, running on Mac OSX, version 10.5.8 isn't having any problem.

No problem here. Those of you having problems, what browsers and versions are you using? My immediate recommendation would be to upgrade your browsers to the latest version.

Cheers,
...Alex

Editing in to ask those with problems: If you select the entire post area, does the text appear in the reverse background of the selected area? (You select all by holding down the CTRL key and hitting the 'A' key on PCs. Or, simply hold down the right mouse button and drag it over the entire area of the post.)

The poem (in white print) now appears overlaid on the color background. Until a few minutes ago, all I got on the first post box was a blank white screen. Suddenly, without my doing anything, because I don't know how to do very much with computers, things seem to be working.

I have an iMac 2006 model desktop computer (OS X 10.4.11), and I use Safari.

Richard

Alex, my better half is using a Linux box. The posts he's not able to see are specifically the ones posted by Sharon, both on these threads and on the Staff Announcements thread about the new code.

Apologies to the poet for letting this technical discussion intrude on an interesting poem that deserves our attention.

Thanks for the update, Richard. In that case, I'd recommend to others having the display problem to simply refresh their browsers. That may be enough to resolve the situation.

More updates / debugging / re-coding of the new codes soon.

Cheers,
...Alex

The poem is gone today for me, too, Alex! Seems that anything with a picture added since yesterday has disappeared. I've refreshed many times. Using Camino.

Can anyone help?

OK, everyone. I've decided on the simple solution of repeating the poem plainly (below the decked version). So, if you're one of those having problems seeing the decked version, simply scroll down for the plain version, or better yet, upgrade your browser.

Cheers,
...Alex

Alex,

It may help you to know that my browser is fully updated, as I always keep it, and that I can see 'Little' perfectly well. It's only here on 'Foxgloves' that the pictures won't show, and the poem text with it.

Cally

Update! Now, after touching nothing, the frame around Catharine's post has appeared, but still no poem or picture, only the vanilla addition.

Cally

Breaking news!! Again, after doing nothing but sitting and watching the screen, VISUALS!!!!! Brilliancy of colour!!

Thanks, Alex!!!! And Sharon!!!

Cally

I agree with David that the Mozart analogy doesn't quite work for me.
The last 4 lines finally get down to the business of the poem, but a little too little, too late. As a whole, though, I did enjoy reading it, though the birds should get equal billing with the foxgloves, the way it stands now. :)

The poem is very well and elegantly crafted all the way through - but I agree with those who (a) didn't warm up to it, and (b) found the Mozart link questionable.

I wonder whether it wouldn't be a stronger poem without Mozart. Start with "Beyond the porch..." and introduce possibly one more line of fiddle faddle after the fourth line down from that to obliquely make a comparison to a Mozart concert, and possibly one other beautiful but precisely structured icon - and then back to the ragged, menstrual, scene-stealing foxgloves.

It's not familiar, but I've written down my guess at the author.

I think the thing that bothers me most about Mozart in this poem is that Mozart left us with the great unfinished Requiem Mass in D Minor, an enormity to which he did or could not find an "answer". An unanswerable question. I don't think of anything Mozart composed or played, really, as an open and shut case. That was Bach.