Washington Post Style Invitational -- Disaster Poetry Contest
 

I received an honorable mention in the Washington Post Style Invitational contest seeking limericks defining words beginning with certain letters. The new contest also calls for verse, so I thought people here might have fun with it. Here it is.

In a nutshell, the assignment is to "Write a humorous poem — choose your form — about the Virginia earthquake, Hurricane Irene or another well-known natural event."

The deadline is September 12, so get cracking.

PS-- My HM limerick is online and in the paper, I think. I also had an "unprintable" that is only online, here. (Among the winners, you will also recognize Mae Scanlan and Ed Conti, among others. Also, two titans of magazine competitions, the American Bii & Bazza, are Chris Doyle and Brendan Beary, whose limericks are in a class of their own. Chris dominated the New York Magazine weekly comp for many years, and currently has over 5,000 limericks in the OEDILF).

"Fabulous!" he ejaculated. "Congratulations!"

Neat - congratulations, Raj. I got on their email list, but haven't been able to get into the rhythm of this one yet.

Frank

Thanks for that Frank. Does Global Warming (assuming that, like God, it exists) count as a disaster, do you think?

It's hard to believe the Washington Post would print poems making humor out of Katrina or the Japanese Tusamie, so a delicate hand is probably called for. Global Warming sounds like a safe topic, John, since, though the entire planet may be wiped out because of it, no one has yet to say, "Hey, don't make fun! My parents died in Global Warming!"

Isn't the entire planet going a bit strong? I thought that was what happened when the asteroid hit us. Except that we had Morgan Freeman for President, so it was all right.

Bloody cold here, mate. You just wouldn't believe. I saw a mammoth on the horizon, I swear. Though it could have been my mother-in-law in a fur coat.

Thought this might be the appropriate place to mention that Bob Schechter, aka Roger, received an hon-mensh in the Washington Post's Style Invitational, in the contest for "Your Mama" jokes, with:

Your mama’s so ugly, she was thrown out of Congress for tweeting a picture of her face.

And was singled out in the blog for "the Scarlet Letter for one that’s really funny but just too tasteless for ink:"

Your mama’s so ugly, the maggots all chipped in to have her cremated.

I guess that rates as an honorary unmentionable.

Congratulations, Bob.

That second one in particular is brilliant. Well done, Bob.

Thanks, Frank and John. I had cremation on my mind after the Speccie "When I'm dead, cremate me" competition."

It's nice that the WP prints honorable mentions (and rewards them with trivial gag prizes), unlike the Speccie. But Frank overlooked that another of my entries finished in second place: Your mama's so ugly, the French made her wear a burqa. I also had an honorable mention that Frank overlooked: Your mama’s so stupid, they gave her a Rorschach test and she answered “ink blot” to every question.

At the WP, they say you "ink" when you get an entry in the paper, though for statistical purposes (they actually keep statistics) it's not "ink" if your entry is printed in the blog because it was too dirty or tasteless for the paper. I'm liking this contest because right away I've done something I could never manage in the Speccie, i.e., inking two weeks in a row.

I hope you guys are sending in disaster poems. I think you'd have a very good chance of inking, since apart from two brilliant limerick writers, their regulars don't seem to have many serious poets (though there are certainly a lot of clever people with good ears who can come up with funny stuff). And though it's not poetry, why not try the new contest on neolgoisms? It's described here.

I've sent in poems on Japan, tsumanis, global warming, the Texas drought, Irene, the hurricane of '38 (eye-witness), and the flood of 10,000 BC. I never got ink 3 weeks in a row so we shall see.

But Ed, aren't the next results for the 56-word story contest? That's the one your three-in-a-row depends on, I believe. This would be four. I'm in the same boat. I haven't sent in my disaster poems, but I have two for Pompeii, one for Irene, one for Katrina, and a couple of generic drought poems. Good luck to us both. I hope I didn't ruin my chances by letting all these Erato ringers know about it.

Oops, you're right, the 56-word one. And I sent in only 3 entries. One I really like which means the Empress won't like it. As for the ringers, Sir Roger...

Quoting from today's Washington Post's Style Invitational for foreign-phrase neologisms:

"Robert Schechter, who became a fixture on the Devotees page even before his first entry was published only five weeks ago, earns Inks No. 6 and 7, and his second entry above the fold."

for: Arroz con polio: The second-worst health code violation in the restaurant industry, just behind Enchiladas con Ebola.

Congratulations, Bob.

Way to go, Bob! And you have groupies to boot, cool!

Thanks. I won a mug!

(I was not a fixture on the Devotees page, though. I first posted there about two weeks before I got my first "ink")

PS-- My arroz con polio gag just got an "honorable mention," by the way. My "above the fold" winner was a different joke, but not as good as arroz con polio so I won't bother posting it here. I also had another mentioned in the "Conversational" (the online-only blog) because it was considered too classless for the dead tree edition. The phrase was "en pissant" and you can fill in the rest.

Once again, I urge you guys to play along. It's really lots of fun. And they do have verse every few weeks or so. Two weeks ago I got an HM printed in the paper for a poem about a natural disaster (mine was eight lines on Katrina). In two weeks they'll announce the results of a contest whose deadline has passed, but which was lots of fun. You had to take the first two lines from any of Edward Lear's first 115 limericks and write your own conclusions. It was a fun exercise, and though they have lots of very good limericians at the WPSI, I like the batch I sent in enough to be cautiously optimistic. (They will probably print about 30, so there's more room than in the Spectator).

She made some reference to there being complaints about too many poetry competitions recently, so I'll keep watching. Way to go.

When she sent me the prize refrigerator magnet, she wrote a note saying not to worry, there will be plenty of poetry contests.

I'm pleased to report that Frank was among the top winners of the rewrite Lear limerick contest, with a #4 finish that gets him his choice of mug or t-shirt. Frank, I haven't seen the shirt, but I got a mug a while back and that's what I'm choosing this time, since it's a pretty good mug and I can always use more mugs. (Frank also has a dirty limerick in the WP blog that doesn't get into the paper edition and wins no prize but fame and honor).

I'm sure Frank entered other worthy limericks, and I also had hoped for more than the two of mine that inked, but the Post received 1,569 limericks from over 300 contestants, so the competition was pretty intense.

For some reason I am not surprised that Roger and Frank were up there in the winning circle.

But I read Roger's post first as "when she sent me the prize refrigerator" and I was happier for him than on the second reading when "magnet" intruded into my sphere of comprehension.

Hope you guys have something good to put in those mugs.