Clerihews at the New Statesman
 

No 4211 Set by Brendan O’Byrne: To mark the death of Christopher Logue at 85 – the poet who launched Clerihew Corner in Private Eye – could we have some clerihews on events or persons who made the headlines in 2011. Max ten goes by 19 January comp@newstatesman.co.uk

Chris, you are a great man. You are hereby elected Staggers watcher for 2012. Defending myself, may I just say that the ONLY newsagent stocking the Staggers round here is on the university campus and parking there can be tricky. Canterbury is a rather Tory place. Well, it would be, wouldn't it? Sometimes one might think that the ONLY socialist is the Arch himself. And he doesn't liive here, he lives in London. There are socialist STUDENTS of course but we don't count them.

GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry is prone to gaffs;
this Good Ole Boy provides the comics with plenty laughs;
Rick wanted to take the White House, one, two, three,
but 'tis better Ricky boy return to Texas, let's all agree.

Herman Cain for Prez'dent? Hey, now, that's profane!
How he scratched his chin: "What's that lady's name again?!!"
No, Herman won't make his home at Sixteen Hundred.
Cain proved himself not able. . . in short, he blundered.

Wills and Kate and Harry and Pippa. . .
each helps the Royals appear hipper,
buoys the ancient British institution
at a time that we seek solutions.

Hi Chris,
Were you thinking of submitting these? Only, they're not clerihews, strictly speaking.

Lewis Turco's 'The Book of Forms' (Third Edition)* says: The clerihew, a particular type of epigram, was invented by E. Clerihew Bentley (1875-1956). It is a quatrain in dipodic meters rhyming aabb, the first line of which is both the title and the name of a person:

SIGMUND FREUD
Became annoyed
When his ego
Sailed to Montego.

SIGMUND FREUD
Became more annoyed
When his id
Flew to Madrid. (There are two more stanzas...)

KARL JUNG
Found himself among
Archetypes
Of various stripes.

*Just received, this afternoon, Turco's new 'Revised and Expanded Edition'; there's no specific mention of clerihews in it, though, so I'll be hanging onto my old copy, which I was going to give away!

Jayne

Well, they can also be about places and things. I found a little volume called Other People's Clerihews, selected by Gavin Ewart, Oxford Press, 1983[!], which contains, in among the Ewart, Auden, Cope, Clifton Fadiman, and Lionel Trilling, the following:

Jeremy Bentham,
When they played the National Anthem,
Sat on,
With his hat on.
XXXXXXXXXXJohn Whitworth

The Sun
Has a simple idea of fun,
It's
Tits.
XXXXXXXXXXBasil Ransome-Davies

On top of Popocatepetl
Foreigners are in fine fetl;
They can either sit and titl-tatl
Or look across at Itaccihuatl.
XXXXXXXXXXBill Greenwell

Guilty as charged, your honour. My favourite is by Fiona Pitt-Kethley, who is now in Italy, but has won many a speccie in her time. I quote from memory.

Emily Bronte
Took some crayons by Conte
And wrote Fuck, Shit and Balls
All over the Rectory walls.

Hi Jayne

Maybe that was the original conception that the first line of the clerihew should be taken up entirely with the name of the subject of the poem, although there appear to be a number of examples since written that don't follow that rule, as seen here at "What Is a Clerihew?" on verse.org.uk, so I think some leeway is allowable, as long as the subject of the clerihew is stated in the first of the four lines of the poem and that it rhymes aabb as required.

Best regards

Chris

ahem
 

It's a great clerihew, John, but Fiona lives in Cartagena, Spain.

Hi Chris (G),

Hmmm... I'd be inclined to stick to the more precise, original form, but that's just me.
It will be interesting to see whether the NS is more relaxed about it than I am! ;)

Good luck with your entries, anyway; ten each! :)

Clearly they are more relaxed, Jayne, since they say "events or persons" and not just persons.

Good point, Bob, though of course it's still possible that they'd like the event to form the first line.

I think I'm just inured to the fact that the first line contains only the subject matter of the clerihew.

Bazza, John, Frank, anyone... your thoughts on this?

Jayne

Spain it is, Bazza.

Call me wanton, but I favour quality of wit & invention over prescriptive formats.

Yes, but 'prescriptive formats' make things what they are, don't they, Bazza?

When does a clerihew cease to be a clerihew and become just a four line poem about someone (or something, as per this challenge)?

Wit and invention will win over another clerihew that hasn't got it, but being a clerihew is still the basic requirement.

Jayne

Two last-minute attempts:

The late Ronald Searle's
naughty schoolgirls
were a marvellous creation,
causing much titillation.

Macca (Sir Paul)
met his downfall
with the crazy Heather.
He and Nancy should be happier together.

I wonder about the form, too--what does one do with all of the celebrities with one name, sometimes one syllable?

Cher -Cher?
The name's too spare,
She is one of the few
Who eludes Clerihew.


Good luck Jayne!
One of the Susans (:)

Bentley himself (google him) used places and also first lines of which the name was only a part. So I think Bazza is right.

Geography
Is about maps
But biography
Is about chaps.

is one of his.

Here are two classics from Auden's Academic Graffiti (In Memoriam Ogden Nash):

When Karl Marx
Found the phrase "financial sharks",
He sang a Te Deum
In the British Museum.

Lord Byron
Once succumbed to a Siren:
His flesh was weak,
Hers Greek.

Ditto, Jayne. Spectator stipulates by midday on given date while NS just says 'by 19th January.' I take this to mean 'not later than' but but sent my last minute attempts before 12 just in case.

Osama
Was dispatched in a drama.
Some said he was noble
And others just OBL.

Elizabeth Taylor
Was no modest veiler.
Without benefit of Girton
She acquired Richard Burton.

Jayne, I also had McCartney one (bet there will be tons!)

McCartney, Paul
Still had the gall
To marry again, to a Garbage Queen.
Let’s hope she’s nicer; Heather was mean.

Susan and Jerome,
I've never entered this comp before. I'm not hopeful, but it was fun to have a go.
Good luck with yours!

John and Bazza,
What I meant earlier related to Chris' entries. These seem far too long to me and don't look like clerihews (sorry, no offence, Chris!).

GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry is prone to gaffs;
this Good Ole Boy provides the comics with plenty laughs;
Rick wanted to take the White House, one, two, three,
but 'tis better Ricky boy return to Texas, let's all agree.

Herman Cain for Prez'dent? Hey, now, that's profane!
How he scratched his chin: "What's that lady's name again?!!"
No, Herman won't make his home at Sixteen Hundred.
Cain proved himself not able. . . in short, he blundered.

Chris,
With some editing, you can make these hew to the Clerihew line. You need two couplets, the first line a proper name (or place or event for this competition). There are no strict rules about line lengths or enjambments, but they are in general on the pithy side.
Best,
Susan

Yes Jayne. I agree with you too. How agreeable I am today in spite of England's Test annihilation. They are indeed far too long.

I agree with Bazza and John - in all things - which isn't easy.


Poets Oswald and Kinsella
Would prefer salmonella,
To an Eliot from Aurum,
Which they found lacking in decorum.

Clerihew
 

Certainly the "clerihew" is in the fourth edition of THE BOOK OF FORMS. It is listed alphabetically on page 161 where the reader is directed to a description of the form under "satirical poetry" on pages 328-329.

Lew Turco

never mind