The Oldie Downsizing
 

Forgive me, Jayne, for treading on your toes. I spent an age doing this then realised you had most kindly agreed to do it. Forgive me again!

Many congratulations to Gail White who brilliantly bears away the Chambers. Just think, Gail, only last month or was it the month before, and you could have had a tea-set

COMPETITION NO 149
Someone from the 'nudge unit' at No 10 wants us oldies to downsize. A poem, then, on any kind of 'Downsizing'. Maximum 16 lines.
Entries to 'Competition 149' by post The Oldie, 65 Newman Steet, London W1T 3EG, or email comps@theoldie.co.uk by 6th April.
Don't forget to include your postal address.

Downsizing? Daft idea.
My wife and ancient self are moving soon and upsizing.
If we downsized, where on earth would I put the books?

But Gail! Hail Gail!

I hereby challenge you to a sonnet - Upon First Looking Into The Chambers Biographical Dictionary. Well done, you!

Yes, John, I spent an age doing MY job too, only to find you'd already done it.

(See post on the other thread as well.)

It's a good job you're one of my best mates, innit? :rolleyes:

(I've only been doing it for about... two years or something.)

Just kidding, everyone. John is too adorable to be cross with, though I might just rap his knuckles with a ruler when I see him. :p

Jayne

Ah Jayne. Your words are daggers.

Ah but John, they're only made of soft plastic - totally harmless :p

I would have LOVED a tea set, but life is a sea of broken dreams.

As it is, I'm reading a lot of tiny biographies.

Does the title have to be "Downsizing" or just the subject matter? Also does a poem in form stand a better chance than free verse?
Mary

Hi Mary,

The winning poems never have titles in The Oldie. 'Down-sizing' is just the subject matter for this month's comp.

And free verse is unlikely to have a ghost of a chance. Make it rhyme! ;)

Good luck. Nice to see another lady at D & A. We're a little thin on the ground.

Jayne

Hutton, my American friends, was not Barbara or Betty but Len, an English batter of my youth.

Downsizing

When Mr Grubb, our teacher, who was strict
But fairly fair, announced that I was picked
Scorer and Twelfth Man in Fat Colin's team,
It changed my life. My life became a dream,
A dream of flashing drives that take me towards
My undefeated century at Lords,
Of Aussies routed with my double hat-trick -
The new Master of the ball-trick and the bat-trick?

Well no! I must be truthful: at the wicket,
On Fortune's cap I was not the very button.
This was real. This was earnest. This was cricket'
And I had no thoughts of being a second Hutton.
But to be young was (sometimes) very heaven,
In Colin's Second Junior Eleven.

Who would probably prefer to be thought of as a Yorkshire batsman.

Great innings, John, a masterly 14 and ingenious interpretation of the topic.

Just wondering if A dream of flashing drives that take me towards
would be better as A dream of flashing drives to take me towards?

Len Hutton! Three magic syllables evoking that summer of 1953.

But I think I'm with Bazza in preferring 'batsman' or gender-neutral 'bat'. Isn't 'batter' a baseball-player, as well the stuff that Scots encase Mars bars in?

Yes, come think of it, Rachel Heyhoe-Flint may have been referred to as 'a young bat' in her time.

To tell you the truth my hero was Denis Compton but he wouldn't rhyme. I was, after all, a London boy.