Wile E. Coyote
 

Anyone want to come up with some more verses?

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
just look straight up if
you run off a cliff,
no need to heed science or gravity.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
the stork only comes
to eager raped mums,
there's never unwanted gravidity.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
if you're sick and can't pay
try the Tea Party way:
emergency room hospitality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
if God guides your path
there's no use for math,
the deficit's paid by divinity.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
the poor pay the tax,
the rich just relax
and let Bain take care of their equity.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
don't bother with truth
--it's a folly of youth--
the facts are a dull technicality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
Your home is your castle,
No laws and no hassle,
You’re Prince of your own principality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
The IRS woos you,
They’d never abuse you
By asking about your fiscality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
The cops are all gents
Full of kindness and sense,
And not one of them’s heard of brutality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
Your wife never bickers,
And girls drop their knickers
Before you can say “sexuality”.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
Your boss every day
Simply doubles your pay,
And colleagues are free of rivality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
Perhaps if you’re clever
You’ll live on forever,
Avoiding the curse of mortality.

(Plenty more words to come, but it's lunch-time)

In Wile E Coyote reality
Here I sit, like a queen
In front of my screen -
The Acme of poeticality...

Brian and Ann,
those are great!

Thanks for joining in the fun.

Martin

Is this a new form, Martin?

In Wile E. Coyote reality
The banks all sit pretty
And play Walter Mitty
Without fear of a massive black cavity.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
I'm a young model.
(This is pure twaddle,
and not like the real actuality.)

Actually, it's not so much a new form as a truncated limerick - the second line is omitted.

Well, wouldn't a truncated limerick count as a new form? It would be interesting to see more of these, without the mandatory first line involving Mr.
Coyote.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
short words like "but,"
"up," "down," "or" and "what"
are the hallmarks of sesquipedality.

Jerome, I think Brian is right; the advantage over a full limerick is that quatrains are
better combining into a longer poem.

Bob (Roger) I would say the rules should be the first line should be repeated in each
quatrain, but for other themes than the republicans' bizarre world view, other
repetends
would be make sense; since we are making the form up, we can choose the rules,
no?

Can you get Pat Myers interested? :)

p.s. Jerome, Jayne, and Bob (Roger) thanks for joining in!

I just thought of the quatrain itself as being the "form." A limerick minus line 2, in other words. You can always reuse first lines (there are countless young girls from Nantucket in limerick lore, for example), but I don't know why that should be built into the form's definition.

Let's decide what the "form" is and then maybe I'll pitch it to Pat. Or you can pitch it yourself, of course, since she always credits the "idea" person by name in the newspaper, with all the attendant glory.

(When I first read Martin's pieces, I failed to notice the political aspect. Here are a couple that may be more on target.)

In Wile E. Coyote reality
Iran will be crushed
And its President mushed
By a strike of pre-emptive finality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
Forty-seven percent
Pay no tax, and their rent
Is a handout from Dem liberality.

Some that stay closer to the cartoon character (whom I love!).

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
although I'm scared witless,
I'm never scared shitless.
My body lacks any anality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
I live among rocks
that lack any stocks,
but offer complete hospitality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
I live off the air
and have nothing to share,
but thrive in the barest frugality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
I lift up a rock
as though it's a crock,
despite absence of marked muscularity.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
in re-runs I run
until time is done,
not seeming to lose singularity.

In Wile E Coyote reality,
with women in binders
the men need no blinders.
All hail the new psychologicality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
the Office is birthright
to rich, smug, and white,
and facts are the merest banality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
all color is green
and honesty's seen
as a symptom of irrationality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
the way to accession
is voter suppression,
a craftily plotted modality.

In Wile E. Coyote reality
the thugs are in charge
and bully writ large
is enough to unbalance normality.

Brian (again), Susan d.S., Seree, Jan, and Jan,
thanks for participating--great fun!

Bob (Roger) how about this description:
A quatrain version of a limerick (lacking the
second line); several quatrains may be strung
together into a longer poem, and the first line
may be used as a repetend.

I haven't "had any ink", so you should pitch it
to Pat. I'm happy to let you have the glory.

Thanks again all!
Martin

In Wile E. Coyote reality
one can always escape
conception from rape
by noting its impracticality.

Here's a timid offer:

In Wile E. Coyote reality
My garden plants thrive
Bean, beetroot and chive:
No trace of bugs or abnormality.

My First Post. Hope it won't be my Last.

You are not alone in hoping that. A number of us have been admiring and envying your winning entries in various competitions -- your recent author's bio of "Ms Waugh," for example.

I welcome you too.

And so do I.

And so do I welcome you warmly.

But to eliminate future confusion and distress, just want to remind you that though the system counts D&A as a "crit post", it isn't and you aren't actually allowed to "post" until you have done your required number of crit posts. So when the sytem releases you on the basis of the automatic counting, you will still be short of qualifying crits.

Check the guidelines that explain the rules for crit posts and when new members are allowed to post at D& A and elsewhere. Look at the line with orange links atop the Eratosphere logo (above).

That said, I hope you will enjoy participating here and wish you a warm welcome.

Risking breaking the rules -just to say thanks all for the welcome and also "Yikes!" I shall go straight away and read those guidelines, and remain schtum until eligible to do otherwise.

Welcome, Carolyn.

I don't think Janice meant to suggest that there is anything to stop you from posting as much as you like here, on Drills & Amusements, but rather that any posts here will not count towards the number of "criticism" posts that are required before you can post a poem of your own on the "Metrical" or one of the other "serious" threads.

They can be rather a stern lot over there, but we are all sweetness and light, laughter and sunshine, fun and games, and general bonhomie, except when one or other of us fails to win a competition with an entry that he or she knew to be unbeatable - and then you may hear the sound of teeth being gnashed to a pulp, and hair torn out by the roots.

Brian - you just beat me to it. I really thought D & A was a law unto itself with regard to crits etc. I've never noticed any mention of it in the posting rules. Sorry, Carolyn if I'd thought you'd transgressed I'd've tipped you off on the QT.

Carolyn, I don't think Janice meant to say that you were violating any rule by posting a message here before you've posted 15 critiques. My understanding is that you may not post a poem of your own in one of the crit forums until you've paid your dues in that fashion, but you're free to chime in here and in the other chat, discussion, and good-time forums. Janice was simply saying (I think) that your posts here don't count toward the 15-crit score that you have to rack up before you can start workshopping your poems.

Forgive me, Janice, if I've misconstrued your meaning. And some moderator please weigh in with a correction if I've misstated the posting rules.

Indeed the only reason I wrote this publicly was to try to keep the issue unmuddled and clear for other new members who will be thinking, "but when I posted before I did my qualifying crits, I got whacked in the head and what's this special treatment Carolyn is getting?"

It's not scandalous to post before the 15-limit. As I always told members in my moderator days, I did it myself (duh!) and was duly clamped down, i.e. my post locked.

IMO it is better to remind early to eliminate the bewilderment when a "real poem for crit" is locked though the system has released the new member. At least I think so, and I'm not trying to be thought police, I meant the caution kindly to avoid the embarrassment of thread-locking, which is worse IMO than a reminder of the rules.

It is OK to post at D&A or any of the conversational threads prior to the 15 qualifying crit limit. Otherwise post #1 would be blocked. A mod can correct me if I am wrong.

Sorry, for the disruption Wile E. Coyote fans and posters. And again, Carolyn, welcome aboard.

In Wile E. Eratospherality
I post fifteen crits
all full of picked nits
and then I can post my poeality.

David R.

What Chris said (which is what I thought I said, but maybe I wasn't clear enough).

I think Janice was somewhat ambiguous when she said "you aren't actually allowed to "post" until you have done your required number of crit posts". A crit post is, after all, a post, and that would logically suggest that you can't even post a "crit post" until you've posted a certain number of "crit posts", which you can't post until ... but that way madness lies.

True, she was ambiguous. Chalk it up to trying sound nice rather than overweening (bow, bow, scrape, scrape) while worrying about spelling misteaks.

Carry on, Wile. E. guys.

Phew! That's a relief, Janice. If you'd been in Richard III mode, you might have come back at me with "“Lash hence these overweening rags of France”.

Teeth and Hair
 

Thanks, Brian; re the teeth and hair problem- perhaps this explains why members don't always post photographs (pace John).

beep - beep
 

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
The “ACME” name brand
Is unique to the land;
An absolute perfect monopoly.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
my shirtsleeves are rolled
(but my jeans sport a fold);
an effort to simulate parity.

In Wile E. Coyote reality,
my forearms grow brawny,
hirsute, somewhat tawny.
My cufflinks--a seldom-seen oddity.

In Wile E Coyote reality
I’ll win if the lads
Can just dimple some chads,
And to hell with election legality.

Blending two topics here, and I promise I'll do some proper posting.

In Wile E Coyote reality
A Rhyming Dic.'s duff,
For your brain holds enough
Ideas of both wit and banality.

In non-Wile E Coyote reality,
When you’re counting up shit,
Then you have to add Mitt
He’s a turd of absurd abnormality.