Good grief!
 

What's going on here?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Real-Newpo...ht _964wt_958

We always knew your work had high value, Annie. (Pay no attention to those other numbers at the low end.)

I hope some of the profit will accrue to you! Print it out and hang it on your wall.

Well, I've always thought of YOU as being priceless, dear Annie; now it appears your book is too! :D

J x

But the vendor is a sportswear company in County Wicklow, so how come this latterday Book of Kells is located in Northumberland? And how can they have over fourteen thousand pages of merchandise...? There's a distinct whiff of Rattus Norvegicus in the air here.

But you bet I've printed it out, Janice, and I've added it to my "Watch List".

They have another of my books for sale at a mere three quid above the cover price, but even so, I'd be more inclined to bypass them and go for the option at 99p.

Now that you have printed it out and hopefully framed it to show your next publisher, I'll add on to say that some weirdos use people's names--lots of names--to attract attention to their "products". I once had my name on an unmentionable site that came up in every google of my name. Not pleasant, but I was not alone.

The day will come, Ann, when your book will be auctioned off at an equivalent sum. We won't be here to experience it perhaps, so profit while you can from this windfall.

I'm ecstatic, Annie! Finally!

Charlotte

A likely explanation:

http://www.michaeleisen.org/blog/?p=358

Oh, I assumed dinner with the author was included in the price...

Ann, I would say yours is a snip.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/newspaper-...em3383e8 f696

Many thanks to Rachael for clearing up a question that has puzzled me for several years.

Ah, Rachael - seemingly endless possibilities for both chaos and mischief. I must admit that rather appeals to me.

Michael - just dinner?

Spindly-one - I have two copies of that last edition of News of the Screws (as we used to call it). I shall hang onto them. They stand more chance of keeping me in my approaching dotage than the Newport book.

Charlotte - control your passion until the thing sells; then we'll celebrate.

But nobody has asked how I stumbled upon this. I will confess. Googling oneself is a sort of gratifying self-abuse; searching for oneself on eBay is the antidote, the confessional, the forfeit, the retribution. It is (usually) like applying a cilice to the ambition and tightening it a notch with every nudge of the scroll-button. Ninety-nine-pee - et in Arcadia eBay.

But I will find the truth of it. I am in correspondence with a nice young Irishman called Brendan. It is he who holds the clue...

Do you see how this is evolving into a Dan Brown novel?

Ah - now there's a commercial idea, Ann. A spoof Dan Brown novel. If you only sold to those who laugh at his nonsense and puffed up reputation, you'd still make an immodest fortune - and you have just the turn of wit to pull it off delightfully. Even better - you would also probably sell to a large chunk of his readership who'd take it seriously! Go on - go for it!

Sorry, Ann. Only dinner.

I've been off the market since the Nixon Administration...