Kallo Kallay!
 

Kallo cubes have begun to put verse on their chicken stock and beef stock packaging. At first I wondered if in view of his recent contributions to Lightenup Online Master Allgar had been moonlighting but the disappointing end of the beef offering suggested not.

There once was a chicken who so loved to sing.
Handel and Mozart were really her thing.
The cockerels all told her, "You've got it all wrong!"
As she rose every dawn with a fine opera song.
She tried to explain but they didn't believe her
That it's nicer to wake to the sound of a diva.

The vivacious young cow who lived in the hills,
Longed for adventure, excitement and thrills.
She was tired of the meadow, of chewing the grass.
The other cows bored her, they didn’t have class.
So she jumped on a bus that was bound for the coast,
And browsed through an atlas while nibbling some toast.


Still, a new paid venue for D & A contributors?

Do you think it is too late for Ogden and I to send this one to Findus?

The cow is of the bovine ilk,
One end is moo, the other milk.
Except at Findus where, perforce,
Both ends of cow may now be horse.

Nicely played, Martin. Marmite had children's verses on their pot-labels once, I seem to remember. (I mean verses written by child consumers of the beautiful brown goo.) Rather a restricted canvas, though,compared with the Kallo packaging in eye-straining small print.

Sung meals
 

Interesting opportunity! -but the specimens of verse shown I find disappointing.

A genre I may modestly claim to have pioneered is the extempore singing of microwave-meal carton text (cooking instructions, ingredients etc) during the brief cooking process.
I find anticipation and the constraints of time provide creative stimulus.
The 'microwave-meal music video' is the result.

Graham, I look forward to your TV debut.

Kallo's very low salt organic vegetable stock cubes have now sprouted verse too, claiming they will be 'just the thing to make your soup sing!'

The stock vegetables that lived on the farm
Were cool and laid back, placid and calm.
They liked to stay home and play on their drums.
They rarely went out with their fruit and veg chums.
But they always went wild whn they played in their band,
And they rocked out in veg plots all over the land.

Perhaps D & A should come to this German product's aid?

Thes stock cubes are faultless
And practically saltless!
They combine piquant savour
With a nice herby flavour,
And will cause soup and King
To melodiously sing!

I'm sure somebody can do better than that.

Kallo, allo, allo
 

The Kallo rhymer has been at it again with organic garlic and herb stock cubes and ditto French onion.

Whoop-de- Wooh, In A Vegetable Stew!

The garlic declared, "I'm ever so blue!
I'm all on my own, alas it is true."
"Cheer up, said the carrot, "and hang on a jot.
"You'll go ever so well with some herbs from the plot."
The garlic and herbs were friends right on cue
And they went very well in a vegetable stew.

For a French Onion Soup That's Fit For A Whoop

"Well 'allo," said the onion.
"I've just come from France."
The asparagus swooned,
she was all in a trance.

The beetroot turned red,
she was quite in a flap,
For this Gallic onion
was a most handsome chap.

Nevertheless, the cubes are very good.

Kallo cubes have begun to put verse on their chicken stock and beef stock packaging.

When you first posted that, Jerome, I had visions of micro-poems printed on the wrappers around individual cubes:

Boiling stove-top pot.
Cube plops in, starts to dissolve --
Fragrant water sounds.

But that would be silly. I wonder how soon one of the magazines will announce a food packaging poems comp.

Ah, a new art-form, Chris. You could call it a Haikube.

I wonder how much they'd pay me to suppress this one?

McDonalds, thrifty, never wasteful,
Ecological and tasteful,
Brings you burgers free from fats
Made from non-bubonic rats.

Kallo cubes! Kallo cubes!
They’re made of scabs and monkey pubes
With lashings of coyote sick
To make your soup turn nice and thick.

Enjoy our Kallo all-beef bouillon cubes
(Available in handy 6 ounce box),
They bring to gourmet chefs or artless rubes
The concentrated essence of an ox.

That last line is a joy. You'll never know how much I needed to laugh like that at this precise moment.

And Oh, it's rhymed with "box"!

The tiny throbbing sound you hear is me, drumming my heels on the carpet.

Ha! Nice one, Douglas. A legit rhyme for cubes in your neck of the woods and a resonant last line worthy of a better cause. (Ann, you beat me to it.)

What with this and Chris O' C's haikube (thank you, Brian) and Rob and others' offerings it feels like the birth of a notion, the Cubist School of Comic and Curious Verse.

Incidentally, I think OXO is still around, but the UNOX advertised on enamel signs left over from previous decades in my youth ,and which provided predictable scope for schoolboy wit, is not, and probably wasn't then, whatever it was. A distant cousin of SPAM, perhaps, such as you can still buy?

Jerome,
"birth of a notion" !
You'll have DW Griffith rolling in his grave.

Our latest entry in the bouillon line
Electrifies the gourmet cooking scene,
And breaks new ground in how the world will dine;
We’ve dubbed it simply “Kallo’s Soylent Green”.