Saying "I write poetry"
 

Here's a game we've been playing on Facebook:

Saying "I write poetry" to people you're just getting to know is like saying. . .

"I collect Star Wars action figures, but only the lesser-known figures of The Rebellion."

"I want you to check your watch now, and say, 'Geez, I forgot something at home!' ."

… I’m Ferdinand the bull.

Forsooth: that’s what I abashedly tell people on the rare occasions I confess. (But secretly, I’m proud...)

Same answer here
 

"Saying 'I write poetry' to people you're just getting to know is like saying. . ."

"Goodbye."

-o-

I like to walk barefoot on the beach at sunset and I flunked gym.

I'm an Elvis impersonator.

I'm as pompous as Garrison Keillor, but not as funny.

"I pick my toes in Poughkeepsie!"

"I'm a medieval historian..."

"I don't have and never will have money, so why don't you just go meet someone else?"

"I have over 10,000 stamps in my collection, all mounted in cellophane folders."

"I want to make you really feel why prime numbers are cool."

"I'd be thrilled to hear why you've always thought there's a great poem--or perhaps an award-winning novel or screenplay--in the unpleasant personal anecdote that you're about to spend the next forty minutes entrusting to me!"

'I masturbate in public. In fact...'

"Would you like to come upstairs to my rented room and see my collection of bus transfers?"

Saying "I write poetry" to people you're just getting to know is like saying. . .

"I found a few head lice when I brushed my hair this morning. Shall I just give your scalp a quick check for you?"

I have some temperance tracts I think you might find helpful…

I'm from another century, with parents from another country, or, I'm not a drone just out to make some money, but, like a bee, I try to make some honey.

"It seems the milk in this carton has gone bad: would you take a sniff and tell me what you think?"

I never cheated playing Dungeons & Dragons.

I am manic-depressive/alcoholic/suicidal. Any personal revelations you make will feature in my next poem, thinly disguised but with enough detail for everyone you know to identify you as the source.

Susan

I also have this delicious recipe for home-made hamster pâté; do let me give you some.

You should've seen the color of my baby's poop in his diaper today!

I am just what you see, assuming you have x-ray vision.

Did you hear about the ancient Sanscrit epic I translated into Cantonese?

"I have 18 cats."