Bake-Off #3 secondary challenge.
 

The third of our three 2015 Translation Bake-off secondary events may be impossible. This song is filled with cooking-related idioms which, on their non-literal level, don't have anything to do with cooking. Good luck! You'll need it!

You may post as many different attempts at translating this song to this thread as you please, and you may continue to edit them until the thread is locked at noon (Pacific Daylight Time) on Tuesday, October 13.

You may adjust the syllable count so long as the translation is still singable to the same tune. Providing an audio link of yourself or someone else singing your translation, to show how you envision this, would be helpful (and entertaining). Entries with audio links will be rewarded with an extra point in the voting, equivalent to one vote.

Full contest details here:
http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=25208

The online French-English dictionary (actually two) accessible at WordReference.com may be helpful, here:
http://www.wordreference.com


SONG TITLE, COMPOSER, LYRICIST, PERFORMANCE VIDEO:

The title of the song is "Mon loup" ("My Wolf"). The final "p" is silent.

The singer-songwriter is Laura Cahen.

The first video link presents many of the French idioms in a hyper-literal way:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAs3z_6Edpg
The "FAIM" ("HUNGER") at the end of the video is a pun on "FIN" ("END").

The second video link presents the song more simply, in a live, acoustic performance which some people may prefer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2HxzzgIaRI


ORIGINAL TEXT, showing the form.

You will probably need to let go of the A rhymes in your translation. The meter is so loose that it doesn't make much sense to count syllables at all.

Je veux te manger, mon loup ..................... A
Te passer à la casserole ............................. B
Je vais prendre tes jambes à mon cou ....... A
Te cuisiner me rend folle ............................. B

Je veux te mariner, mon loup ...................... A
Te griller les moustaches à la poêle ............ C
Je vais te faire revenir à feu doux ................ A
Crois-moi, cette recette est au poil .............. C

(Refrain)
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou ............. A
Sweet sweet honey, I love you .................... A

Je veux te déguster, mon loup .................... A
T'assaisonner avec magie .......................... D
Je vais prendre le temps de te rendre fou .. A
Te ferai mijoter au bain-marie .................... D

Je veux te découper, mon loup ................... A
T'éplucher comme une orange ................... E
Tu ne feras plus de zeste du tout ............... A
Et je n'aurai plus faim, c'est étrange ........... E

(Refrain)

Ton poivre et sel se mélange ...................... E
Come sucré salé, à mes cheveux d'ange ... E

Je veux te gaver, mon loup ......................... A
Que je te reste en travers ........................... F
J'y mettrai tous les ingrédients, mon chou .. A
Et tu remettras le couvert ............................ F

Tu veux me gácher, mon loup ..................... A
Me rouler dans la farine .............................. G
Tu t'imagines que cela a du goût ................ A
Je t'en ferai des tartines .............................. G

(Refrain)


LITERAL/FIGURATIVE ENGLISH PROSE CRIB:

Je veux te manger, mon loup
(Lit) I want thee to eat, my wolf.
(Fig) I want to devour you, my wolf; Not necessarily a reference to oral sex, but perhaps suggestive of sexual consummation/consumption in general. Alternatively, "I want to bite your head off" or "I want to chew you out," in the sense of yelling at someone for a transgression.

Te passer à la casserole
(Lit) (I want) thee to put in the saucepan...(I want) to put you in the saucepan.
(Fig) I want to have my wicked way with you. "Passer à la casserole" is to be subjected to sexual relations, be forced to put out sexual favors; it is also used more generally for "to go through hell," so here it might be translated more innocently as "To put you through hell."

Je vais prendre tes jambes à mon cou
(Lit) I am going to take thy legs to my neck (vais= am going, prendre = to take)
(Fig) When someone is said to take his legs to his neck--Prendre les jambes à son cou--he is running very fast. Here, the expression has the pronouns changed for double entendre's sake; or it could simply suggest an uncomfortable posture, as for torture.

Te cuisiner me rend folle
(Lit) Thee to cook, me renders crazy.
(Fig) (The thought of) cooking you is driving me crazy. Or, I'm crazy about (the thought of) giving you a grilling, giving you the third degree, interrogating you.

Je veux te mariner, mon loup
(Lit) I want thee to marinate/soak, my wolf.
(Fig) I want to leave you to stew in your own juices, my wolf.

Te griller les moustaches à la poêle
(Lit) Thee to broil/barbecue/grill the whiskers at the wood-burning stove. "Poêle" can also mean frying-pan, but that seems unlikely here.
(Fig) To singe your whiskers at the wood-burning stove; The heat source might be taken as a metaphor for female anatomy, but it is more likely to refer to torture.

Je vais te faire revenir à feu doux
(Lit) I am going thee to make return to fire (that is) gentle.
(Fig) I am going to bring you back to low heat, put you on the back burner, keep you on a slow simmer even when the main cooking is over.

Crois-moi, cette recette est au poil
(Lit) Believe me, this recipe is with pelt.
(Fig) "Au poil" is slang for "great, perfect." It also means "stark naked," or, in cooking, "with the skin left on."

(Refrain)
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you

Je veux te déguster, mon loup
(Lit) I want thee to taste/savor/enjoy, my wolf.
(Fig) I want to taste/savor/enjoy you, my wolf.

T'assaisonner avec magie
(Lit) Thee to season with magic.
(Fig) To spice you up with fascination/charm; also, to tell you off via fascination/charm.

Je vais prendre le temps de te rendre fou
(Lit) I'm going to take the time for to thee render crazy.
(Fig) I'm going to take the time to drive you crazy. There may also be a hint of taking the time to render the fat from a cooked chicken or similar, although the French verb "rendre" doesn't seem to be used this way.

Te ferai mijoter au bain-marie
(Lit) Thee (I) will make simmer/stew in the bain-marie/double boiler/hot-water bath (cooking paraphernalia).
(Fig) I will leave you to stew in your own juices.

Je veux te découper, mon loup
(Lit) I want thee to cut/slice/chop, my wolf.
(Fig) I want to chop you into bits, my wolf.

T'éplucher comme une orange
(Lit) Thee to peel like an orange.
(Fig) To peel you like an orange.

Tu ne feras plus de zeste du tout
(Lit) You won't make more of zest at all.
(Fig) You won't have any skin left at all. There seems to be a hint of the English sense of "zest" here, too, meaning "enthusiasm, spirit, drive, energy," although the same connotation doesn't seem to exist in French (yet.)

Et je n'aurai plus faim, c'est étrange
(Lit) And I won't have more hunger, it's strange.
(Fig) And I won't be hungry anymore, how strange...And I'll have lost my appetite, how odd.

(Refrain)

Ton poivre et sel se mélange
(Lit) Thy pepper and salt get mixed
(Fig) Your salt-and-pepper (graying hair) gets mixed

Comme sucré-salé, à mes cheveux d'ange
(Lit) Like sweet-and-sour (sweet and savory), with my hairs of angel.
(Fig) Like sweet-and-sour, with my angel hair (the narrator's hair, or a reference to capellini, a very thin kind of pasta).

Je veux te gaver, mon loup
(Lit) I want thee to stuff/force-feed (like a goose raised for pâté), my wolf.
(Fig) I want to force you to swallow things you'd rather avoid, my wolf.

Que je te reste en travers
(Lit) (I want) that I (to) thee remain sideways.
(Fig) (I want) that I get stuck in your throat, that I stick in your craw, that I continue to bother you and you can't get rid of me.

J'y mettrai tous les ingrédients, mon chou
(Lit) I there will put all the ingredients, my cabbage.
(Fig) I will get ready, my sweet; "Chou" literally means cabbage, but it is also a type of small, round French pastry, and is a traditional term of endearment for children and lovers. It may also be a shortened version of the word "chouette," which literally means "owl" but sounds a bit like the English word "sweet," and thus has a slang meaning of "sweet, neat, awesome."

Et tu remettras le couvert
(Lit) And thou wilt again set the cutlery/silverware.
(Fig) And you will face me again. Le couvert is cutlery/silverware/a place setting; "mettre le couvert" is to set or lay the table; but "remettre le couvert" is to do something again, or for two people to face each other again.

Tu veux me gâcher, mon loup
(Lit) Thou want me to waste, my wolf.
(Fig) You want to mess me up, my wolf.

Me rouler dans la farine
(Lit) Me to roll in the flour.
(Fig) To lie to me...to fool me..to totally rip me off...to take me to the cleaners.

Tu t'imagines que cela a du goût
(Lit) Thou (to) thyself imaginest that that has some flavor.
(Fig) You think to yourself that that's tasty.

Je t'en ferai des tartines
(Lit) I thee of it will make some bread-slices (en = "of it).
(Fig) I'll make all this a big deal to you; "Faire une tartine" of something is to exaggerate it, make a big production of it; when trying to convince someone of something or express a grievance, "to spread it on thick" (like butter on a piece of bread or toast); "Tartiner" is also to churn out a lot of something.

(Refrain)

This is hilarious, Martin, especially with the videos.
But you're right that it may be untranslatable -- or at least extremely difficult.

It's not enough that this feast (?) of culinary metaphors (or metaphoric cliches) only works well in French. What's more, the title -- and maybe even the overriding idea for the song -- appears to be based on a sly play on the words of another French culinary expression: "J'ai une faim de loup." Literally, that means "I have the hunger of a wolf," but here, "of" may have been shifted to "for" (which -- though I'm not sure -- may not require a change of words in French).

Unfortunately, the default English translation of THAT particular phrase seems to be: "I could eat a horse."

Oh, dear.

Well, here goes. There was no way wolf was going to work with rhymes, so I tried a different animal.

My Bear

I would like to eat you, bear.
I want to swallow you whole.
I’m crazy hungry now, I swear,
to cook up a bear casserole.

First I’ll marinate you, bear,
whiskers singeing over my stove.
I’ll keep you simmering gently, with some care.
This recipe’s a treasure trove.

(Refrain)
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, my bear, I love you.
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you.

I will savour you, my bear,
seasoned with bouquet garni.
I will stir your senses to despair
and melt you in my bain-marie.

I will chop you to bits, my bear,
strip you like orange peel.
That zesty skin you’ll no longer wear,
and no more hunger will I feel.

(Refrain)

Your salt and pepper mingle there
like sweet and sour with my angel-hair.

I will overstuff you, bear.
I want to get stuck in your crop.
Reset the table and whip out your pair... of chairs.
I’ll lay the fixings out on top.

You would like to dine elsewhere,
butter both sides of your bread?
Treat me like an hors d’oeuvre if you dare:
I’ll make you wish you were dead.

(Refrain)

Added in: audio link! And edited text above to match final version as discussed in post 6. I think you'll get an error when you click on the link, but if you click the download button for this file (Voice 003.m4a) and save it to disk it should play.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/g3dfufjh20...20003.m4a?dl=0

Mary, that's superb! And I think the reference to hors d'oeuvres deserves extra credit.

My only quibble is with the penultimate line of the penultimate stanza. It might work better metrically (and avoid an internal rhyme) if you say "pull up two chairs."

Claudia

Your version is fun, Mary!

Susan

Thanks, Susan and Claudia! Yes, that line is tricky. The sung version has quite a pause before 'mon Chou,' so I'm not sure I like breaking after a preposition like that, but it's worth considering. (It would also let me switch to a singular chair, which is a better rhyme).

Edited to add: the other thing I was considering with that line is to use the pause for more of a double entendre:
Reset the table and whip out your pair....of chairs

Mary, this is great!

Claudia,
I would like to clarify that Challenges 1&3 are not my doing--I just posted them for someone who didn't quite have the time to run the whole show.

Martin

A loose translation, true to the spirit of the song, I hope . . .

My Wolf

Wolf, I want to eat you up,
you’re the dish I’m crazy for,
I’ll wrap your legs around my neck,
I’ll push you through my oven door.

Wolf, I want to marinate you,
My heat will curl your moustache hair,
I’ll slowly cook you in your skin,
And you’ll be glad you left your lair,

Ah oo . . . oo oo oo oo oo oo,
Sweet sweet wolfie, I love you.

Wolf, I long to taste and enjoy you,
spice you with my magic charm,
take my time to drive you crazy,
heat you up and do you harm.

Wolf, I want to cut you up,
Peel you like a juicy lime,
You’ll have nothing left to give,
And I’ll be happy all the time,

Ah oo . . . oo oo oo oo oo oo,
Sweet sweet wolfie, I love you.

Mix your salt and pepper with my sweet and sour,
You’ll be glad you’re in my power.

I will stuff you like a goose,
I’ll ride you in my riding hood,
Dinner’s done, my sweetie pie,
Better set the table ‘cause we taste so good.

Wolf, you want to mess me up,
Powder me and put me to bed,
You think I’ll be a tasty treat,
But I’ll wolf you down like buttered bread.

Ah oo . . . oo oo oo oo oo oo,
Sweet sweet wolfie, I love you.

... and don't forget "chou" is both a term of endearment and also "cabbage". :)

Kyle, I like it. The last stanza in particular works better than I thought such a literal translation would. There's a lot my version misses out on by losing the wolf (not least the howl of the refrain).

You guys have done it after all...and with gusto!

I stand corrected. But I'm staying out of this kitchen.

There's a whole other meaning to this phrase. :eek:

Ah, French cuisine ......;)


MY WOLF

I want to wolf you down, my wolf,
I want to put you in my pot
and wrap your legs around my neck –
the image gives me food for thought.

We’ll start with a marinade, my wolf,
Your mutton chops hot on the stove;
A stew, a seethe, a simmer-down,
Then second helpings, no? my love?

Refrain:

ARH-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sweet, sweet honey, I love you.
ARH-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sweet, sweet honey, I love you.


I want to savor you, my wolf,
and spice you up with witchery;
I’ll take it slow and drive you nuts,
Then leave you in the bain-marie.

I want to slice you up, my wolf,
And peel you like a bergamot;
I’ll skin you till you’ve nothing left
Until (how very strange!) I let you go.



Refrain:

ARH-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sweet, sweet honey, I love you.
ARH-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sweet, sweet honey, I love you.


Your salt-and-pepper locks will join —
like sweet-and-sour— my angel hair.

I want to stuff you till you choke
On me, my wolf, and gasp for air;
So set the table one more time,
And I’ll provide the bill of fare.

I know you want to spoil me, my wolf,
And dredge me like a pound of chops;
So if that’s really to your taste,
I’ll pull out all the stops.


Refrain:

ARH-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sweet sweet honey, I love you.
ARH-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sweet, sweet honey, I love you.

********************************************

Thanks, Mary! I like your version too. I'm in awe of all your bear-rhymes. And yours, Catherine: "Peel you like a bergamot" is a nice find.

MY WOLF

Wolf, I want to chew and eat you,
Fry you up inside my pan,
From your head down to your feet you
Figure in my dining plan.

Wolf, I want to marinate you,
Grill you on my barbecue,
Cool you off before I plate you,
The recipe is tried and true.

Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you

Wolf, I want to dine upon you,
Sear you in my magic braise,
Pour some cooking wine upon you,
Coat you with my sticky glaze.

Wolf, I want to julienne you,
Strip you like an orange rind,
Add you to my dinner menu
Till my hunger's left behind.

Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you

Your salt and pepper mix to share
the sour sweetness of my hair.

Wolf, I want to make you fatter,
open wide your gaping craw,
stuff you on a silver platter
till your gut can hold no more.

Wolf, you want to turn the table,
dredge me in a bowl or dish,
imagining that you are able
to consume me. Wolf, you wish.

What a lot of fun all these versions are. Roger, I'm in awe of your rhymes. Here's my version.


My wolf, I’ll make a meal of you.
I’ll pop you in my casserole.
I’ll drape your legs around my neck.
I’m crazy-keen to cook you whole.

My wolf, I want to marinate you,
to sear your whiskers in the heat.
I’ll put you back on a gentle flame.
This recipe takes skin and meat.

(Refrain)
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, my wolf, I love you.
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you.

My wolf, I want to savor you,
to spice you up with charm and guile.
I’ll slowly drive you wild, and leave
you simmering at a slow boil.

My wolf, I want to chop you up.
I’ll peel you like an orange, while
I plunder you of all your zest,
and wear (how strange!) a sated smile.

(Refrain)
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, my wolf, I love you.
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you.

Your pepper and salt lie blended there,
like tangy-sweet sauce, in my angel hair.

My wolf, I’ll stuff you like a goose,
stick in your throat, be part of you.
I’ll spread out the buffet, my sweet,
and you will lay the board for two.

My wolf, you want to mess me up,
to roll me in the flour and fry me.
You think that that’s a tasty treat.
I’ll keep your muffins buttered. Try me.

(Refrain)
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, my wolf, I love you.
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you.

These are all amazing! I am so impressed! AND so much fun.

Martin

Enjoying all of these amazing translations! Can't wait to hear the English version sung!

OK, here's a link you can hopefully download and play: https://www.dropbox.com/s/g3dfufjh20...20003.m4a?dl=0

This is not me! I can't carry a tune in a bucket, but I have some amazingly talented friends. Amy Klohr did the arrangement and piano, and her pupil Micah Ramos did the singing.

I've been loving the different takes on this. I think Roger has my favourite rhymes so far, but Susan's "This recipe takes skin and meat" is my favourite double entendre. I cut a lot of my own double entendres for being too filthy to even be funny. It's a difficult art nowadays when anything can be said, for the rude meaning not to swamp the innocent one.

Congratulations, Mary! Your singer is very good, and your lyrics can clearly be sung.

Susan

Mary,
that's great, definitely earns your bonus points!

Martin

Typical. I can't get the file to play. And people around here wonder why I'm not more optimistic....

Maybe it's an Apple thing. I'll try my daughter's Orange.

[Update: Martin kindly walked me through fixing the problem. Thanks, Martin. And Mary, that was really fun.]

Wolf, I’d love to gobble you,
To stuff you in my steaming pot,
Truss your legs and hobble you;
Just thinking of it makes me hot.

I’ll drench you in my vinaigrette
And singe your whiskers on my heat,
Then gently stir you, wolf, my pet;
You’ll find my recipe is sweet.

(Refrain)

Yes, my wolf, I’ll nibble you,
You’ll simmer till your eyes go glazy;
With spicy oil I’ll dribble you,
And you’ll be slowly driven crazy.

Like an orange, you’ll be peeled,
My little wolf, squeezed dry and grated.
But when I’ve drained your juicy yield,
Will I be completely sated?

(Refrain)

Your greying hair, the gold that’s mine,
Like sweet and sour will spicily entwine.

Your turn to dine on me until
You clasp your aching jaw.
But though you think you’ve had your fill,
My wolf, I’ll have you begging me for more.

Want to put me on your skewer,
Baste me with your special sauce?
Guess what - it’s me, the barbecuer;
You, my wolf, are just the course.

(Refrain)


[I think this can more or less be sung to the tune, but with quite a lot of ‘tweaks’ to the note values. Still, the original is also metrically pretty irregular, and lengthens or shortens notes as required. I couldn’t find the sheet music anywhere; it would have been a big help.

I’d have liked to provide a sung version, but the computer that I use for recording isn’t working at the moment.

The translation is reasonably close in places. Elsewhere, I’ve taken considerable liberties with the words, although I hope I’ve kept the rather ‘saucy’ spirit.]

I've now allowed myself to read the other versions. A fine (and fun) 'bake-off' indeed! But it's too early for me to say which one I think takes the biscuit. We'll all just have to stew in our own juices for a while.

Entries for this event are now CLOSED. The thread to vote for the winner will open at noon (Pacific Daylight Time) Wednesday, October 14, and will close at noon (Pacific Daylight Time) Sunday, October 18.