Can anybody help me on this? Not so long ago someone posted a beautiful verse parody of the ubiquitous African-leader's-widow 25-million-dollar spam-mail. It wasn't by an Eratosphere poet (I think) and I can't remember the thread it was posted on or the name of the poet.

Gregory

Gregory. Beautiful? Can't say I've seen it. If you get hold of, please post!

KEB

Katy,
I may have used the adjective rather loosely (well, sloppily). Beautifully executed, at any rate - at least, as I remember it.
Gregory

LOL! Gregory this is nothing other than what I expected. I wasn't expecting spiritual enlightmenment.

Do let us know, though, when you find it.

K

This isn't exactly what you were looking for, but it may be close ...
Take a look at who won the 2005 Ig Nobel Prize for Literature.

Claudia

Claudia,
Thanks, not what I was looking for but fascinating all the same. There's a great deal of creative talent out there; maybe these writers are the Dickens of our day: convoluted plots, grotesque characters, a good dose of sentimentality and a guaranteed happy ending - for the reader as well.
Gregory

This poem , Spam Chant (scroll to the sixth post in the thread) probably isn't what you're looking for either, but it does mention the Nigerians amongst other Internet fraudsters and it gave me a good laugh.

Thanks, Winter, that's not it either but is great fun. Has anyone done an anthology of spam-mail poems yet?

ARGHHHHH

This was NOT from Dan. Dan does not write poems about wanting boobs. (Well, maybe he does, but he doesnt let ME see them and I'm pretty sure he doesnt want them in the same way "I" want them. LOL)

Sorry, I forgot to check whose name was "up" before I posted.

Reposted under my own name.

Arghhhhh!!!

Lo

[This message has been edited by Dan Halberstein (edited October 10, 2005).]

Is this what youi're looking for? I'm not sure it is - it isnt verse, I dont think, but it IS funny and it WAS here.
http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtm...ML/000725.html

That link will lead you to this one which may be what you're talking about:
http://www.419eater.com/html/oduobi_tokunbo.htm

And, just because I havent written anything new in forever, I am including MY contribution to the spam-fest.

Sick-Click

My E-Mail tells me what I miss -
The Insta-love - the Insta-kiss.
On floppy, hard drive, CD-ROM -
the torrid tapes of Pam and Tom.

I'm urged to purchase *Inches-Mo'*
to make my puny penis grow!!
If I subscribe to WebSite *X* -
I'll ALWAYS score the hottest sex.

*College Girls with Camera's Rolling -
Join Them in Their Naked Strolling!!*
*Fresh Farm-Girls Take It By the Horn!!*
(No wonder Daisy's jeans were torn)

*Increase Your Girth, Increase Your Size*
*Viagra Makes the Flaccid Rise*
I'm so confused by all these clicks -
Why DO they send such mail to chicks?

I read the titles, I delete;
Amazed, I hear the voice repeat,
"You have mail and it's disgraceful."
I find it all just so distasteful.

But wait - this ad - it speaks to ME -
*You, Too, Can Bounce Like Brittney*
I wonder ...hmmmm...no it's absurd!!
Smart girls don't trust the written word.

I read the small-print guarantee -
*A Chest to Defy Gravity*
It's not just men who can be rubes -
I'm sending cash - I'm buying boobs.

Lo

Gregory -

Funny, I have a vague recollection of that also, but when I did a Sphere search under "Nigeria", no poem emerged - which means it could have been a link.

I did find this old exchange of mine with Kevin Murphy, from a July thread in General Talk (Kevin is speaking of various spam letters on other topics.)

Kevin -

Mrs. Abacha does not exist? There is no $35 million in the Swiss account? No need for a $50,000 temporary deposit to open a "shadow" account? No need for the $4647.87 expenses to prepare and process my funds?

Oh dear.

Michael


Hardly a poem, but could this be what you remember?

Michael Cantor

Lo, thanks for pointing me to these threads, which I must have missed at the time. They weren't what I was thinking of but I'm glad to have come across them now. Thanks too for your great contribution to the spam-fest; looks like we'll have to do that anthology now.

Michael, I do remember that thread but it isn't the one I was thinking of. I begin to think you're right and it must have been a link. I have vague memories of someone talking about a satirical poet, who may have been from New England; whoever it was who introduced the subject may have put in a link to a relevant website. Does this ring any bells with anyone?

Gregory

Gregory,
I remember laughing my head off at it. I even have some nightmare that I may have posted the link. But I'm not sure. In fact I doubt it. I too would love to read it again.
Janet

I can’t help you with a Nigerian spam poem, Gregory, although I can tell you there are people doing their bit to mock and deter Mariam Abacha and all her cohorts. I once wasted a Nigerian scammer’s time myself (and my own) with elaborate misunderstandings, but the fellow running the 419eater site has taken it a lot further. Look at this page (one of many there) where he gets the scammer to jump through all sorts of improbable and hilarious hoops.
http://www.419eater.com/html/olu_martins.htm

I get quite a few mails with subjects such as “Every mans needs this” from people using names like “Winifred Carbaugh” or “Gavin Villalobos” and offering pharmaceuticals. Often the product on offer is “Cialis soft” — what marketing genius thought that name up?


Spam Triolet

Those pharmacy hucksters — I’m heartily sick
of their “Please her all night!” and their “Save save save!”
“Arsenious Bobo,” “Floyd Babbit,” “Jane Thwick” —
of those pharmacy hucksters I’m heartily sick!
It’s the personal way they refer to my dick
and assume that it’s flagging, or shy, or concave!
Those pharmacy hucksters — I’m heartily sick
of their “Please her all night!” and their “Save save save!”


I’m reliably informed that Flann O’Leary’s <A HREF="http://quince.netpublish.net/CloaksAndCapers/SpamDiptych.html" TARGET=_blank>
Spam Diptych</A> was constructed from a random word list found in a spam message.


[This message has been edited by Henry Quince (edited October 12, 2005).]

Are you thinking of this? It's Zaire, not Nigeria, but a similar theme: http://bilge.seablogger.com/archives/004113.php (scroll down)

Rose ;)

YESSSSSSSSSS

Thank you!

Janet

Rose,

As Janet, says, YESSSSSS! And many many thanks. And many thanks to Fresh Bilge too, of course.

Henry, thanks for the link and the fine triolet. I suppose forms with repetends are eminently suitable for Spam poetry. So I'm just waiting for the Spam villanelle and the Spam sestina now...

Gregory

Now I'm left with another nagging doubt: as Mike Stocks is clearly British, who is the satirical New England poet with whom my fuddled memory confused him?