Washington Post No 1202 Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
 

This is a Song of Hope to a well known tune. Deadline Monday Night Dec 5th. Prizes, though not money alas.

1202 Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Air: Robin Hood

Donald Trump, Donald Trump, he’s our President.
Donald Trump, Donald Trump, we know what he meant.
He’s on the trail,
And he’ll not fail.
Mugwump Trump,
Lardy lump,
He's no chump.

Donald Trump, Donald Trump, honest, free and fair.
Donald Trump, Donald Trump, with his lovely hair.
Built like the Duke.
He’s got a nuke.
Which is what
Calls the shots.
Love him lots.

Donald Trump, Donald Trump, what a wondrous sight.
Donald Trump, Donald Trump, big and bold and white.
Beacon of hope
Pure as the Pope,
Which is why
He’s our guy.
Riding high.

I don't think this song is known in America, though I could be wrong. I think it was the theme song for a show that didn't air there.

Edited to add: sorry, no, I'm quite wrong, it did air in the 50s and was a hit, though I still think few people over there would remember it.

Oh surely they would. It was thhe theme song to the series. I found it with no trouble at all. Dammit, I used to sing it when I was a kid. Didn't you?

Shown on CBS in the USA.

When you submit it, include a YouTube link to a performance of the song so Pat can follow along if she can't recall the song on her own.

I have submitted it. But I suppose I could send her the link anyway.

And of course, the 'Robin Hood' theme tune was also used by Monty Python:

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor
And gives to the rich
Stupid bitch!

Was he the one with the lupins?

Here are the comp specs, if people need them.

Yes, John, I haven't the least desire for any of the prizes either, so you must be just as enlightened and ascetic as I am. It's good to meet another bodhisattva, participating in this realm only to offer spiritual refreshment to others.

Aren't we in it at least partially for the glory? You can get 25 quid for being in The Spectator with a circulation of 54,000, or a worthless refrigerator magnet for being in The Washington Post, whose Sunday edition (where the Invitational appears) has a circulation of over 700,000 (not including online subscribers and readers, which is also quite a substantial number).

The WaPo also has other prizes. Earlier this week, for finishing second, I won a toilet paper dispenser that plays Donald Trump's real voice saying stupid things every time you pull on the roll.

All the same, Roger, there's something comforting about money. You can exchange it for things you really want, like booze and fags.

I think I can live without the bogroll dispenser even with the divine Donald.

But a circulation of 700,000, wow! I didn't know Americans read the papers like we do. So onwards and upwards. Per ardua ad astra as those RAF johnnies are wont to say.

1202 Don't be Afraid of the Dark

Somewhere over the rainbow
Let us go.
If there’s hope for the hopeless.
How could you answer no.

How we long that a leader
Bring us hope.
In a church that is popeless
How can we ever cope?

Someday we’ll get all sorts of stuff
Until at last we’ve got enough. How super.
How wonderful when my oh my,
It’s lovely as a butterfly
Fresh from a pupa.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Each new day
We can find peace of mind that’s
Better in every way.

The very same, Ann.

After all, what use is the dispenser if you've got no money to buy bogrolls?

A monetary prize is nice, of course, but I prefer the thought that somebody is actually reading my poem and that somebody else thought it reflected well on their publication to include it.

I wish the Oldie still paid in tea and cake and wouldn't mind a nice bunch of lupins...

I'm just glad I brought it up so I could learn the word "bogroll," which I will now do my part to inject into the American vernacular.

From some long forgotten American "skin" magazine of the early 1960's, this unforgettable couplet;

I wonder what the foreign restrooms issue,
and how it corresponds to toilet tissue.