Does Nigel need an elegy (or dozens)?
 

If this news story -- about Nigel, the gannet bird who lived a mateless, lonely life on a remote New Zealand island -- doesn't tug at your heartstrings &, when you reach the memorial verse, make you want to write an elegy of your own, then, well, I just don't know what to say...

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...=.f2e1b76f05a4

XTC--Making Plans for Nigel

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy
He must be happy in his work

Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak
And loves to be spoken to
Nigel is happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel

One of Colin's very best! I think my favorite songs of his are on the last 2 XTC albums: "Fruit Nut," "Frivolous Tonight," & "Standing in for Joe." Oh, & Black Sea's "Generals & Majors"!

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I thought of Samuel Beckett while reading it.

Certainly people did make plans for Nigel. I am sad that his chromosomes will not be perpetuated.

John

Serious question: he had wings and presumably could have left the island if he wanted to, right?

Maybe he read Sartre. Or maybe he got tired of the dating scene. Maybe he decided that concrete decoys were most of the enjoyment and none of the work. I've sorta felt that way after a bad run...

Interesting question. It may have something to do with the male sex drive. Notice that only males stayed on the island during Nigel's sojourn. In a college class, I learned that male turkeys will attempt to mate with a stuffed female turkey and even with a wooden abstract approximation of a female turkey. Female turkeys were not interested in anything but an actual male turkey.

Susan

Susan, now that is a bird anecdote that deserves a poem. (Not that I'm knocking Nigel).

Cheers,
John

Yes, that’s great intel, Susan! I couldn’t help but think of my first boyfriend in college, whose father nicknamed him “Bip”, for “brains in pants”. Lord knows it was true...

Well, that's one way of looking at it, but the song I'm thinking of is the very cheerful "She Didn't Say No."

Susan, did the course consider if male turkeys worried about splinters?

I made the mistake of thinking that this topic was good fodder for conversation with my daughters, who are university students and therefore know everything.

I got no farther than "Have you heard the sad story of Nigel the Gannet?" before the corrections started. With infinite condescension, the younger one interrupted to say, "Mom, I think it's pronounced 'nat.' Nigel the Gnat. The 'g' is silent."

After clarifying, somewhat testily, that Nigel was not an insect, I foolishly continued trying to paraphrase this thread, only to have the other daughter femsplain to me, based on the title alone, that the song "She Didn't Say No" is a horrible relic of a benighted age of assumptions about sexual consent.

I'm becoming increasingly envious of Nigel, who for years happily chattered away to his nearest and dearest, in a paradise where nary was heard a discouraging word.

I have missed you, Julie. Thank you for your hilarious post.

What Max said.

Glad to have been able to plug the gap and give Nigel a send-off in Autumn Sky P. D. yesterday.

https://autumnskypoetrydaily.com/ (9 March Nigel No Mates))

Ned,

I hope you don't mind, but so that anyone can post their own poems about poor old Nigel, I've moved this thread from GT to Drills and Amusements.

Jayne

I enjoyed your poem about Nigel, Jerome.

Susan

This immediately calls to mind a tragic Pygmalion. No Venus came to his rescue to turn his stony gannet into a feathery mate.

Sincerely,
PM

I got a kick out of your ballad, Jerome. The link you supplied was to the home page of Autumn Sky Poetry Daily. Here is the direct link to your poem so folks can read it without having to search the archives.

https://autumnskypoetrydaily.com/201...-jerome-betts/

Thanks, Martin. If it ever reappears I’ll change rats in S1 to mice. Apparently rats never got to Mana and it was house mice that reached plague proportions before eradication.
There’s a lot more going on than gannet-luring on this former sheep farm, such as partial re-afforestation, restoration of a wetland and the revival or reintroduction of many plant, insect, reptile animal and bird species with the aim of returning it to more or less its original ecological state before human intervention
Seabird guano provides a rich source of nutrients ultimately benefiting the other island populations, hence the concrete colony which has captured the world’s interest because of Nigel.
http://www.manaisland.org.nz/mana-island-2/mana-island-ecology/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mana_Island_(New_Zealand)