Limerflicks
 

https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showt...ghlight=Movies

I'm resurrecting this eight year old thread that I just spent a pleasant half hour reading, because

a) limericks are fun
b) movies are wonderful
c) I’ve just written one to kick it off again

I’d say not including the movie title is the way to go, then we have a guessing game too and the fun levels reach fever-pitch (ahem).


Monoliths! Apes in confusion!
A bone thrown to space (evolution)
It's a slow sort of future
but a killer computer
adds spice before baffling conclusion.

And another...

A cabbie would not be advised
to back off from the woman he prized
Though he thought to do good
it’s just mayhem and blood
Will he ever get organazized?

Fugazi
 

He kept order mercilessly,
This Capo di tutti capi.
When the shootings got hot
And the old man was shot
His son proved our laws are Fugazi.

Her finances stuck in the cellar,
Blanche DuBois has to move in with Stella,
Whose husband, named Stan,
Is a thug of a man
Who rapes her! Despicable fella!


The times were the best, but the worst.
They were blessed, but they also were cursed.
They were good, they were bad,
They were happy, yet sad,
They were all things, and all things reversed.


Willy Loman’s a salesman who’s made
A mess of his life, I’m afraid.
He’s old and he’s poor
And can’t take any more!
Attention, I say, must be paid!


When doddering Lear, weak and old,
Gave his daughters his kingdom, though told
By a friend not to do it,
He soon learned to rue it
As they tossed his butt out in the cold!

stalker

three hipsters with too much to say
go gabbing through ruins one day:
...they enter the Zone;
...the viewers all groan;
the cameraman wanders away.

This was fun the first time around, and I hope I'm not repeating myself with any of these three.


An IRA fugitive’s awed
By a singer’s sweet voice and hot bod.
After she sizes him
Up, she surprises him.
Turns out she’s packing a rod.


You’re Yoda’s fair-haired Jedi laddie,
While I am the ultimate baddie,
So this 411
Will blow your mind, son:
Luke Skywalker, guess who’s your Daddy.


The new sheriff isn’t a white guy
But to save Rock Ridge, he’s just the right guy.
His sidekicks are a drunk
And a muscular lunk,
None too bright, but a good-in-a-fight guy.

Excellent!

Ralph: The Godfather

Roger: A Streetcar Named Desire, A Tale of Two Cities, Death of a Salesman, King Lear (all made into movies, true)

Aaron: I watched my first Tarkovsky a couple of weeks ago. Mirror. It was stunning. My mind is still reeling and recovering.

Chris: The Crying Game, The Empire Strikes Back, Blazing Saddles.

I was 2001 and Taxi Driver btw.

Keep ‘em coming!

What we know: There's a dead samurai.
A court wants to learn how and why.
But the answer's unclear
Even after we hear
What the witnesses all testify.

*

When Annie's friend asked her to be
A bridesmaid, she couldn't foresee
That Annie would freak,
Or the havoc she'd wreak,
In this film people loved (but not me).

*

Have you ever considered what if
Two girlfriends who'd sampled a whiff
Of freedom were chased
By the cops and they faced
Capture? . . . They'd drive off a cliff.

*

Harry's boyhood could not have gone worsely.
He's mistreated 'cause he's not a Dursley.
But turning eleven,
He finds Hogwarts heaven.
Thereafter his life goes conversely.

*

The birds out my window say "Tweet!"
I look up and cry, "They're so sweet!"
But birds wouldn't charm me
If they formed an army
Whose mission was mankind's defeat!

This captain’s obsessed with a whale
So evil its skin’s deathly pale,
Sails after it sea to sea,
Harpoons it futilely—
An Everyman fated to fail.

Mark,

Your fine take on Taxi Driver reminded me that I watched it recently and immediately began doing pushups!

Harry Powell rides up on his horse
To abduct John and Pearl by brute force
But Rachel defends them
And earnestly tends them
Till LOVE conquers HATE (but of course).

Roger!

Rashomon, (don't know!), Thelma and Louise, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, The Birds

Ralph - Moby Dick (and cheers, just don't put brandy on the cornflakes)

Annie - yaay. Night of the Hunter! Glad you're playing. Here's one for you...

Two actors, one drunk, one much drunker
abandon the city to hunker
alone on a farm
but the locals mean harm
and an uncle proves less than avuncular.

Mark, you have made me feel unusual.

I think you need to go outside.

A virginal Christian copper
investigates pagans improper
Their beliefs make him sick
and it all was a trick!
For the crops the cop must come a cropper.

Aha, the Wicker Man. Here's something a bit lower down the cultural scale.


Immortals who play hide and seek, all
Set out to kill off their equals.
When all’s said and done,
There can be only one.
That is, till they bring out the sequel.

Highlander! Oh dear, the ripest Scottish cheese haha.

An accountant for mobsters escapes
with evidence hidden on tapes
Jack must find him first
though his ulcer might burst
He swears and they get into scrapes.

An old man lies dying alone
In an opulent Florida home.
He drops a glass ball
As he whispers a call
To someone (or something) unknown.

A silver screen phenom named Welles
Came up with some whistles and bells
That he hoped might impart
Elements of high art
To the swell stories Hollywood tells.

The last words that Charles Foster Kane,
When dying, was heard to be sayin',
Referred to a sled,
But once he was dead
There was nobody left to explain.

A scarecrow, a tinman, a lion,
A girl and a dog, are all tryin'
...To live. Here's the hitch:
...There's a wicked old witch
Intent on the lot of them dyin'.

See Terence and Hugo and Guy
Take a bus trip together. But why?
After meanness and malice
They’re Red Hot in Alice
And then they wave gaily goodbye.

Citizen Kane (x3)
Wizard of Oz
Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

(I was Midnight Run)

Walt Disney took something I cherished
And mindlessly slashed and embellished.
His clumsy hands took
My own best beloved Book
And pulled it apart till it perished

Clever Annie! At first I thought "well, this could be any one of a dozen movies". But "best beloved" is the clue.

The Jungle Book!

This particular film has the lot,
Overloaded with action and plot.
There’s burning and looting
And hanging and shooting
And Joan and Mercedes and Scott.

For me the giveaway was capitalizing Book.

A scientist gathers the bits
Of dead humans, then gives them a spritz
...Of electrical juices,
...A shock that produces
A monster that goes on the fritz.

My Dickens one that I posted above is actually a three-parter. Here's the whole thing:

The times were the best, but the worst.
They were blessed, but they also were cursed.
...They were good, they were bad,
...They were happy, yet sad,
They were all things, and all things reversed.

Sidney Carton looked just like Darnay,
And the two men loved Lucie, yet they
...Were friends even though
...Lucie chose as her beau
Charles Darnay and told Carton "No way!"

But Carton still loved her. That's why
When Darnay had been sentenced to die
...Carton gave up his life
...So that Charles Darnay's wife
Would be happy. Mon dieu, what a guy!

It’s the tale of a ménage à trois
That begins alongside the Great War.
It cools and ignites
Through forgiveness and fights
Till it ends with a splash in a car.

A girl goes to church, but instead
She ends up attacked, raped and dead.
Her father goes crackers
And kills her attackers
And all for a toad in the bread.

In a prison that's filled with life's dregs
There's a cool guy who never reneges
On a bet, and so he,
To the infinite glee
Of the convicts, eats fifty boiled eggs.

A young boy named Cole, it was said
By his doctor, was sick in the head
Because he claimed, "I
See folks after they die."
But it turns out the doctor was dead!

In a Czechoslovakian spa
He insists that they were where they are,
But a stranger beats him
In a long game of Nim
While the corridors wander afar.



Mark? Mark? Were you there? Are you here? Maybe next year?

The 39 Steps
 

Thank you, Mark, for resurrecting the original thread which I have also enjoyed re-reading ...and I'd completely forgotten the Limerflicks/Filmericks that I'd written about back then.

Here's my latest offering:

Richard Hannay is chased; he gets shot
as a spy - which we know he is not.
He escapes umpteen times
from some nasty men's crimes
in an intriguing, brilliant plot.

Jayne

When Mark started this new thread, he suggested: "I’d say not including the movie title is the way to go, then we have a guessing game too and the fun levels reach fever-pitch (ahem)."

Me, I'm at fever pitch. But then I enjoy cryptic crosswords.

An astronaut crashes to find
A planet where apes speak their mind
And people are dumb.
He then learns how come:
This is earth, and the fate of mankind!

I made a fuss on the original thread about having to guess the film, when in several cases I didn't have a clue... I don't do fever pitch, me.

Call me lazy if you like... but I just prefer an easy time of it and don't relish having to work hard in my leisure time... when I struggle to even remember which flippin' day of the week it is!

Different strokes for different folks...

Jayne

Speaking of different strokes, I hadn't looked at that old thread till you (Jayne) posted the link. I now realise with a bit of a shock that I am recycling, not the limericks, but the films themselves. There's one there that I haven't "done" this time round but was actively, and in all innocence, contemplating yesterday.

What that means is that I haven't actually seen many films and most of them date to the New Wave era when I read Cahiers du Cinéma and practically lived in the NFT.

I suppose I should "get a life" but when I went down to the market (twice) there were none to be had, not even for ready money.

Now, how to re-limericate Partie de Campagne...
.