Concrete poetry
 

Over on The Deep End, Golias posted a poem that ended up looking like this (see below). It started out as a different shape altogether. You can see the original thread here.

It's a fun idea... so let's have a go, shall we? A poem in any shape you like, on any topic you like. D & A is not a workshop board, but I'm sure comments and suggestions will be welcomed.

Jayne

Projected federal deficit spending, trade imbalances impending
.....and great unlikelihood of mending make it nearly sure
...........our dollar’s value would dramatically decline.
...............An unemployed working man may pay
...................two hundred for a bottle of wine
.......................and buy no more than two
..........................eighty-one dollar eggs
..............................for a hungry wife
.................................and his child
....................................who beg
.....................................not to
.......................................die

....................What I'm Shooting For


..........................................E-
........................................ven
........................................if .I
.....................................counted
....................................my head
....................................as a fifth
..................................limb, .each
.....limb .grasping .after .specks .of..food .floating past
...........in the current .and hauling .them .towards
..............a central mouth, (which, in this meta-
.....................phor, is not my actual mouth),
.........................scavenging, as I do, for
.........................shiny flecks of detritus,
....................... and becoming entangled
......................in them, I..........would still
.....................be more..................sea ane-
...................mone............................than
..................star....................................fish

Hi Jack, I'm not really understanding yours as a concrete poem. How does the shape relate to / add to the poem?

Hey Sarah, I really like yours. I can start at any (leg?) and read it round, which is pretty cool. The shape seems to work for the sea theme. I'd happily read the left-most leg from right to left, and it seemed a little odd that it was the only one that started at the edge not the centre (though I can see why you've done that). So, anyhow, is it a starfish? Tell me it's a starfish. You know my feelings about starfish ...

Hi Matt,

Mine is a starfish. I like your second one (starfish ghazal) very much indeed. I also enjoy wondering about starfish hangovers!

Sarah-Jane

Deleted April 2, 2021

xxxxxquite under
xxdon'txxxxxxstand
xtoo,xxxxxxxxxxxhow
I,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxJack's
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxpiece
xxxxxxxxxxxxxcan
xxxxxxxxxxxbe
xxxxxxxxcon-
xxxxxxxxsid-
xxxxxxxered
xxxxxxto be
xxxxxxa con-
xxxxxxcrete
xxxxxxpoem

xxxxxxxxh
xxxxxxexxxl
xxxxxxxxp

I'd forgotten that this blasted site won't allow multiple spaces. Never again!

Brian, you have my utmost respect.

Given the way that formatting works on this board, that must have taken hours!

(I use a very old version of photoshop. I'll look to see if any of the free online photoshop versions let you fill in shapes with text. And for those that might not be aware, word will let you fill in basic pre-set shapes with text, although there's always a bit of tweaking involved in terms of mid-word breaks)

Deleted March 28

I've deleted my original post since Julie has kindly produced my poem in the following post.

Here you go, Rogerbob. The tags [ L][/ L] (without the spaces) insert the equivalent of about three horizontal spacebars, and the tags [ S][/ S] (without the spaces) insert the equivalent of one. I've used multiples of [ L][/ L] tags to do this. I've put two sets before the bottom line--if you intend the poem to start flush against the left margin, I can remove two sets, all the way up.

STARTING FROM THE BOTTOM

                                                  the sky
                                             against
                                        your head
                                   not to bump
                              please be careful
                         go racing by,
                    and clouds
               and watching birds
          When falling up

xxxxxxxxxxI
xxxxxxthink Jack
xxxjust wants to see
ixhis work on this site
xxxxand anywhere
xxxxxxxxwill do
xxxxxxxxxx!!!

Jayne

Matt, I love your starfish ghazal!

Deleted May 9, 2021

Animal Farm

Rob Stuart - I love that image. Very wry, very word-based, very clever.

Sarah-Jane
(it took me a while to realise I had to click on the photo icon to view it, so pointing this out just in case there are other equally inept people about, which is unlikely but possible)