There's an acorn shortage across the eastern US:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...112902045.html

I'd been wondering why I kept seeing young squirrels everywhere when it wasn't spring. Turns out they're just scrawny.

I got to talking about this when I was buying peanuts for the squirrels. The cashier at my grocery store says it's "the natural order of things." As usual, I couldn't think of anything to say until it was too late.

The thing is, it may not be the natural order of things at all. Acorn production goes in cycles, yes, but this year's massive shortage is unusual and may be the result of climate change.

And even if it IS the natural order of things, so what? Screw the natural order. The natural order sucks. Nobody ever cares about the natural order of things until someone suggests we do something helpful. Until then it's "Screw the environment! Mess with it all you want!"

[edited for verbosity]

Rambling, sorry. The point is, it's not going to kill anybody to put out a few peanuts.


[This message has been edited by Rose Kelleher (edited December 01, 2008).]

There’s been an oak tree strike,
production’s on the putz.
Starving squirrels are everywhere
shivering on their butts.
But a hero’s raised her banner,
a soul with heart and guts.
there’s one thing squirrels can count on:
Rose’s nuts.

LOL – Sorry, dear heart. You’re a good person. Never change.

I guess we have enough alternate food sources, because our backyard squirrels are still as fat as ever. One sits it the crook of our tree, just behind our back doors. Give him a little fiddle and he’d look just like Nero, watching over his domain.

Of course, I'm a practical joker. Put out a little crunchy peanut butter. I have this image of their little tongues sticking to the roofs of their mouths.

And I didn't give them any milk to wash it down.

Sorry for all the typos - it becomes increasingly difficult to focus on a computer screen.



[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited December 01, 2008).]

No, it won't hurt to put out peanuts, peanut butter, ear corn, sunflower seed, oats, dry dog food, or any kind of nut; problem is it probably won't help much, either.

The upside of putting out food is that birds will benefit too.(unless you draw those pesky house sparrows, ughh)

The downside is so will the racoons, possums, mice and rats. It impossible to monitor who gets the stuff, but you obviously love squirrels, so go for it Rose. I'm sure you'll save a few this winter by putting out food for them.

Good luck!
Donna

I'm sure the "natural order of things" person wouldn't hesitate to a fly swatter if the "natural order of things" led to a bumper crop of flies like we've had in California this past summer.

OTOH, we also had possibly the best tasting local fruit I've ever had.

We've also got lots of squirrels and no shortage of acorns. Though unfortunately the apricot tree finally died after a long and extremely productive life.

Rose

On a serious note: once you start putting out a food supply, you need to keep it up on a regular basis. The animals will forsake other less productive food sources to come to the spot you put out food.

We used to be avid bird feeders. Which, of course, made us kestrel, squirrel and cat feeders also *grin*. It was interesting, but finally became too much. The birds came back for a long time after we started cutting down on how much we put out. We finally stopped completely.

Our neighbors thanked us profusely.

Personally, I pretty much loathe the natural order of things.

Our squirrels will never go hungry. Not only do they eat a variety of nuts and such they dig up (yesterday, I saw one hauling off a pine cone half its size), but they eat the bird food, and--they are the only squirrels anyone has heard of who eat young canna shoots. When the cannas begin to sprout in the spring, we have to cover them with wire cages until they are strong enough to be squirrel-proof.

Effing American grey squirrels.
We call them tree rats, and shoot them when we can.
They've pretty well driven out our beautiful native red squirrels.
However, our scientists have recently come up with a way of diminishing their numbers by reducing their sex drive.
Over-sexed and over here.

Whenever I fly into London, David, I always carry at least one pair of lively grey squirrels in my jacket pockets, and let them loose as soon as I hit Hyde Park. They love the well tended trees, and are particularly fond of your sausages, since they consist entirely of cereal and suet.

[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited December 01, 2008).]

Wow, what a lively thread. I think squirrels are adorable. But I don't feed them. I already spend too much on cat food as it is.

Jerry is right--it's a commitment. I have seen over two dozen species of birds in our yard since we've lived here. In addition to having many bird feeders of different types, there is a lot of natural bird food in our yard and many places to hide and nest. We also have bird houses and nesting bottles. Raccoons nest here, also, and rabbits, from time to time, and a variety of reptiles hang out here.

Our community is being destroyed by development, so more and more non-humans are probably going to find our wooded yard, which isn't nearly so wooded since Katrina. I hate to think of all the homes that have been destroyed so that we can have one more cell phone store and one more bank.

My understanding is that the reason English red squirrels often thrive is that a man named David Anthony feeds them foie gras.

Some backyard plant, flower, and tree lovers would rather poison squirrels than feed them. And they do.

It's the city version of the farmers vs. the ranchers, and for a long time I favored the squirrels as the higher life form (but there are other interpretations of "higher" and "lower" life forms, y'know?).

However, some squirrels began exhibiting sick behaviors [wanton destruction of window sashes and frames as well as plants--for the last 34 years!]. One of the flower lovers got fed up and served them Jonestown Kool-Aid (I presume). When you see a squirrel taking down large tree branches every chance it gets, something must be wrong. Could have been rabies. Everyone with windows on these adjoining back yards looked the other way when the Kool-Aid was served.

Thing is, who's going to test squirrels for rabies? They will enter your rooms if a window is left open, and for those with children that's more than unhealthy.

Now transient squirrels stop by to chew on my window frame (it is chewed clear through to the brick at the bottom), but they don't homestead. It's just as well. They know the back yards around here are perilous for rodents. I still spray what's left of my window frames with copper spray paint--they're too canny to eat that.

One of the previous neighbors tried to trap the squirrels so he could release them in Central Park. Grey squirrels too squirrely for that--only a baby got caught, and I released it myself--very gingerly. [It was screeching like a human baby around 6 a.m.]

Even a few transient squirrels do an ace job of preventing any form of plant life from surviving, though. At least they're no longer taking down tree branches. That was unacceptable. I'll bet the UK reds don't do that.



[This message has been edited by Terese Coe (edited December 01, 2008).]

--I'll have you know, Michael, that English sausages are every bit as big as American sausages.
(Damn, what a giveaway.)

That's news to me, Therese. Every serious gardener I know, including myself, enjoys the squirrels. The aforementioned canna issue is the only problem we've ever had with them, and that was fairly easily solved. And even if they did other damage, I don't know anyone who would kill them quickly, let alone poison them.

We had a bit more of a problem with the rabbits for a while, but that, too, was easily solved.

The biggest squirrel problem most gardeners have is bulb-digging and -eating. That is resolved by planting bulbs squirrels do not like, and/or planting the bulbs in baskets or under wire mesh, as we do with our glads.

Ummm, if you do a google search using the words "squirrels" and "gardening" you get over 2,200,000 hits - and the greater majority of them are not favorable. (In fact, a quick read of the first 3 pages of links are unanimously unfavorable.)

I mean, I LIKE squirrels (especially here in Va. where we have black squirrels, something I've never seen before) but even I, as a squirrel-lover, know that they're hell on gardens - and bird feeders - and sometimes electrical wires if you have any exposed outside. They'll dig and chew anything - and they'll take over a bird feeder like no one's business.

I had two of them climb down my chimney once - ending up in my family room drop ceiling somehow - and I can't even begin to tell you how much damage they did before I managed to entice them up the stairs and out the door more than 24 hours after their arrival. (I actually called a "Pest Control" advertisement in the local telephone directory and two guys with shotguns showed up at my door - but I didn't take advantage of their offer....I chose to make deposits of peanut butter crackers down the hall and up the stairs and through the kitchen and out the back door instead....sort of a Hansel and Gretel solution....I'm sure the dudes with the shot guns could have dispatched them much quicker but I'm also pretty sure that shotgun damage would have occured, as well.)

Anyhow....they aren't too beloved among the gardeners I know - serious ones or not. Nor the bird-lovers, either, for that matter.

But...since I don't garden and I live in a condo without bird feeder access, I'll do my part and buy some peanuts and feed the little black squirrels and the grey squirrels and the brown squirrels and (most especially) the little squirrel with no tail who hangs out around my car at work all day coz no one will play with him.

He's my favorite one of all.

Diane,

City squirrels will chew on anything, it seems. Many varieties of flora have been killed off by the ones who used to inhabit the back yards here. Even potted Christmas trees.

I would never have poisoned them. In fact it's conjecture; they disappeared rather quickly, and that's what I thought must have happened. They've been (mostly) gone for years now, and I'm not at all displeased that they're gone. We probably can't compare squirrels in Louisiana, with so many varieties of flora/nuts/whatever to consume, with those here. I'm sorry if this has upset you, but it's possible the most destructive squirrels were rabid. That was suggested to me by someone at the Dept of Agriculture, which I called for advice oh so many years ago.

Yes, some plants were put under wire mesh. Squirrels pull the mesh out of the ground.

Well, Terese, naturally, it upsets me to think that people are poisoning anyone. But my main reaction was just one of surprise. Wow, those are some squirrels. My canna-loving ones pale in comparison.

We have squirrels and we have rats. They all have their own unique virtues and faults.

The squirrels are worst with the fruit trees. They bounce around and take a bite of everything so all the fruit goes bad. The rats, by comparison, are quite sensible and polite: They find one ripe piece of fruit and nibble it beginning to end, sometimes over the course of a couple days. Sometimes even while watching you.

Of course the squirrels don't try to sneak in the house when it gets cold like the rats do.

We also have ants. If its very cold, very hot, or very wet, they come in the house. As it's currently cold and wet, we have to deal with the ants. Fortunately, they're not the stinging kind, just very prolific.

An exterminator told us that the only way to get rid of all of them was to get rid of all our fruit trees and most of our plants and basically live in a concrete mausoleum. This does not appeal.

Instead, we view the wildlife as entertainment. The dogs love chasing the squirrels and the rats, and even sometimes catch the rats if they come inside. And the ants do useful work in the garden, so we just make sure to put all the food in tightly sealing containers and take the garbage out more often.

Kevin, ants hate peppermint. I keep a spray bottle of water with peppermint essential oil in it. We get a lot of ants, and when they make their appearance, I spray the peppermint solution along the entrances. They are repelled by it and do not enter.

Water birds in particular were in real trouble in my area during the last few years of drought. My grumpy old neighbour who keeps a budgie (Australian native bird) in a cage, says I interfere with the "natural order". He wouldn't know the natural order if it bit him in the ass. Every morning I feed Australian magpies with their young, butcher birds with their young, kookaburras, white faced herons, ibises, crested pigeons and we have planted a great many food bearing plants for honey eaters of diverse persuasions. As a reward our garden is a miracle of birdlife.

A termite inspector told us that ants are our friends because they eat termites.

Recently crocodile tracks have been sighted along our coast. I hope I won't end up feeding one of those.

I don't keep a pet because I have wildlife all around me.

FEED THE SQUIRRELS!

[This message has been edited by Janet Kenny (edited December 01, 2008).]

Rose, but did you notice how many acorns there were last year? It was bizarre, there were literally tons of them, I've never seen anything like it. Raking my mother's lawn on Long Island was like shoveling concrete.

And it's true this year there were virtually none.

Nemo

It's an Acorn Recession.

Feeding squirrels, what to feed them

It seems that raw peanuts are very harmful for squirrels. Real nuts (peanuts aren't nuts) are the way to go.

lol lo!

BTW if anyone is wondering or remembers, I'm well aware I've told the squirrel bits before. It's just too much to resist.

And while I once, no doubt thanks to the dancers in Oklahoma!, totally identified with the ranchers, I now see my rancher identity as one that emerges when I leave the city. The best non-human species in the city are the dogs and the hawks! I especially hope the latter continue to multiply and circle above the parks. [Maybe that's where the squirrels went.]

[This message has been edited by Terese Coe (edited December 01, 2008).]

"(most especially) the little squirrel with no tail..."

Lo, that's a rat.

Funny that this should be a topic on Eratosphere, when it's also a hot topic with my neighbor across the street, who keeps shrieking at me for having several non-squirrelproof bird feeders in my yard--she says that my squirrels are going to chew through the wiring in her attic and burn her house down. But won't they be more likely to cross the street to her side if I STOP feeding them "Gourmet Mix" doctored with extra sunflower seeds? (I confess to having bought them corn cobs a few times, as well.) And mightn't the four giant pecan trees in my yard be even more enticing to the little furbags than storebought chow? (Though it's a bad year for pecans as well as acorns.) From time to time I think of replacing my current feeders with the squirrelproof kind, just for the sake of neighborly peace, but then I watch one of them leap four feet into the air; land about a foot from the top of the pole that the feeder dangles from, clutching it for dear life; shinny the rest of the way up the pole the way I used to climb ropes in high school gym class; tightrope-walk out on the metal arm that extends from the pole; and then dangle upside down like an opossum to munch from the feeder. Anything that will work that hard for food definitely deserves it.

Originally posted by R. Nemo Hill:

Rose, but did you notice how many acorns there were last year? It was bizarre, there were literally tons of them, I've never seen anything like it.

Same here in Mass, Nemo. I found myself flinching and almost bought a helmet. My driveway was an acorn grinder.

This year, nada.

Bob

Edited to spell "Bob."

It's not that I'm all that nuts about squirrels, but starving to death is a bad way to go.

The first time that I saw a squirrel float over the canopy of trees I thought my heart would stop. That was in England. Since then I've seen red and grey in England and America.

They earn their food.

I once saw an A&E documentary on squirrels and the people who tried to keep them out of bird feeders. One man had built a device that was extremely complicated, with strings and pulleys, etc. It would have kept anyone else out of the bird feeder, but the squirrels figured it out in no time.

There was also a squirrel who, every day, visited a particular vending machine, climbed into the drop chute, stuck its paw in, did a little wiggle dance, got its candy bar, and took off with it.

What it boils down to is that squirrels have a media and image problem. They have never had an effective Spokessquirrel and, for whatever reason - and that reason might, in fact, be the clue to their problem - have never been able to establish a sympathetic identity through the persona of a cute or cuddly or wise or clever or all-of-the-above public figure, an Ubersquirrel, a public face of squirrelkind everywhere, a credit to its species - and a role model for future generations, for scrambling litters yet unborn.

Mice and ducks and chipmunks, dogs and cats, coyotes and even turtles all have a well known and likeable cartoon character providing favorable publicity and image support, and generally establishing that image with the susceptible young. Pigs, for God's sakes, do nothing but roll around in the mud all day and fart, and they have numerous likeable public faces, and are even portrayed as sturdy and industrious. Savage carnivores - lions - have their own Broadway show, and nobody ever pickets, waving photos of butchered wildebeests (note to self - check with appropriate members by PM.) Bunnies have Bugs, and Rabbits get sexpot Jessica, and she gets Kathleen Turner's voice.

But I'm not aware of any squirrel who has achieved stardom, let alone a good supporting role. Squirrels appear to be the Rodney Dangerfields of the cuddly animal world.

What is required here is not a string of posts whining about squirrels or their poor treatment - that's reality, and it's as distasteful as talking about Guantanamo while the President is posing with his flags - squirrels simply need a good media team - a cartoonist, an agent, a PR guy. The raw material is all there: bulging cheeks, terrific darting moments, bushy tail, bright eyes, good poses. If Porky Pig could succeed, if Britney Spears can make it big, then certainly the Eratosphere can create Wystan Squirel. (Thomas Stearns Squirrel? Percy Bysshe Squirrel? That part might need work.)

http://tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:.../Rocky_300.gif

Gawd, Michael, have you never watched The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show?

They are too squirrely for my taste. But I will put out peanuts for them in exchange for a promise not to constantly chew through all my garbage bags and leave a horrible mess next to my house. Rose, I assure you that the squirrels around here are not starving. I'm more concerned they might gorge themselves to death.

Lo - Actually....no. And I even did a quick Google search. Oversights were made. (But isn't it possible that these cartoons you claim to have seen were moved to Syria and hidden there before I looked?)

[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited December 02, 2008).]

Does Rocky count? He's a different species, a flying squirrel:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocky_the_Flying_Squirrel

Pedantic as ever,
Maryann

I have to vouch for Lo. Rocky is a very famous squirrel, and I would be happy to serve him my finest peanuts. Michael, will you next tell me that you don't know about Boris and Natasha?

PS--
They even liked poetry! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUiOb...eature=related

[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited December 02, 2008).]

Thank you, Roger and Maryann. For a moment there Michael had me convinced I'd hallucinated the whole thing - the momentary flashback left a very acidic taste in my mouth.
Especially when I also thought I remembered Sherman and Peabody from Fractured Fairy Tales.

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:...nd_sherman.jpg



[This message has been edited by Laura Heidy-Halberstein (edited December 02, 2008).]

And, while we're on the subject of pop culture, didn't Mae West once remark, "Is that a squirrel in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?" http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/ubbhtml/smile.gif

I'm surprised nobody mentioned Beatrix Potter's Squirrel Nutkin:

http://collectingtokens.files.wordpr...rel_nutkin.jpg

There's also "Twiggy, The WaterSkiing Squirrel"
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And the infamous Football Playing Squirrel

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and let us not forget The Fermented Pumpkin Eating Squirrel, either:

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[This message has been edited by Laura Heidy-Halberstein (edited December 02, 2008).]