I shall have to puzzle over Clive's comments on lineation for the rest of the span left me. And give thanks for his friendship. One of the marvelous things about Alex' creation is its bringing writers together, even across the sea. Frankly, I prefer Clive's breaking of the Whitman lines in half, but then, I dislike Whitman. Weigh in on the thread, comrades. My purpose today is to announce Sonnet Bake-off, Year Three.

The EfH and I have repeatedly expressed our view that too many sonnets are written. To my shock, I just realized that 6 of the 42 poems in my new manuscript total 14 lines. As Patsy says in ABFAB, "you can never have enough hats or gloves." I'll add, "you can never have enough sonnets."

Sam Gwynn is our third adjudicator of what for me is sheer fun. I put him with Rhina and Dick Davis, our previous judges, not on his volume of sonnets written, but on their excellence. I propose to change this year's contest, not that it is any contest. Though I shall screen out inferior work, Sam will choose the poems on which he comments. The postings will be "blind," no indication of author until Sam has commented.

Please email your submissions to timmurphyis@att.net. We'll get rolling around April 1. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

yr lariat, Timothy

> ... too many sonnets are written.

Scorn not the sonnet, though its strength be sapped,
Nor say malignant its inventor blundered;
The corpse that here in fourteen lines is wrapped
Had otherwise been covered with a hundred.
-- R.H. Loines

LOL, Hugh! That's terrific! Love the syntax almost as much as the thouight, jejeje™

(robt)

Funny sonnets, or any kind?

Limit one per customer?

Any kind, Rose. One per customer. You might wish to go back into the annals of the Lariat board and see the work posted a year and two years ago.

WHY I'M NOT ENTERING THIS YEAR'S BAKE-OFF

I thought I'd write a sonnet for the bake-off.
Since Gwynn's the judge, I figured I'd try wit,
Perhaps a Wendy-Cope-cum-Sam-Gwynn take-off?
"My agent says my husband is a twit"?
Or maybe I'd be scandalous, like Parker?
Or use a lot of far-fetched rhymes, like Nash?
Or try for something Suessian, but darker?
"These eggs are green, goddamit! Taste like trash!"

But things proved harder than I bargained for.
My sonnet seemed contrived no matter how
I tried to mimick poets I adore.
These clumsy lines are all I have for now,
But next year I will rise above such scrawlings.
I think I'll dash off something a la Stallings.



[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited March 18, 2004).]

Bob, this is pretty marvelous for a toss-off. We shall certainly have some funny sonnets in this year's parade, but I hope this one won't make the cut. I only hope that because the cut will be determined by the rising tide? Does that make sense? No.

Return to Clive's thread, Ambition or the Lack Thereof. No, that was Tim's thread, initiated in response to Clive's complaint. I suspect that the sonnet, rightly conceived, is our most extraordinary stanza. Within its fourteen lines, the permutations are infinite. A newbie here, David Anthony, once asserted that it was the only form worth writing. Wrong-headed as that seems to a man who tries to nonce every thing he writes, I judged that to be an assertion worth flaunting!

Dean Donne referred to "narrow rooms." The purpose of this exercise is to showcase what the all of us can do within those confines. Send me your rich, your rare, your silken tents supported by the air. Timothy

(Having read the winning entries)

On second thought, maybe I'll just write another chicken poem...

Tim
How many metres of silk?

Janet

I just received the winner. Fortunately, I don't vote. Come on, people, send me your meters of silk.

Be patient, Tim! My meters are of flannel and need a bit more ironing.

Julie Stoner

I decided against this old number ;)

Catwalk Sonnet for Forums.


Here is a poem for knife and fang.
Dismember it, fillet it, flay it alive,
bone it and vein it. Circumcise--
remove any evidence it once sang.

Correct it, admonish it, condescend,
explain that its attitude fails the test
of current theology. Poorly dressed
for catwalking fashion toward the trend.

Sneer, leer and jeer at inadequate chic,
a general levity, blatant clarity,
occasional mention of human stupidities.
Beat at its meter, repeatedly pick
on its feeble metaphor, weak modality.
Death, sex and self the eternal quiddities.


Janet

Tim--

Is the Bake-Off restricted to published sonnets?

Lisa

No, Lisa. Published or unpublished are fine. I've received a LOT of sonnets, and I've yet to hear from some of our best sonneteers. From the raft of material floating afore me, there are several which I'd like to see Sam tackle. But that leaves room for more.

timmurphyis@att.net

Tim,

If it please you, I'd like to donate a photograph as a prize for the sonnet Sam likes best. If he should happen to pick mine, I'd send the prize to 2nd place. This is assuming he judges them in such a way, of course.

Alternatively, once the selected sonnets plus Sam's critiques are posted, we could have the members vote via e-mail to you on their favotite among them, and I could make the "award" that way...

(robt)

Robert, in each of the previous years, three sonnets were judged "the best." Sorry, I just don't think of this as a competition, rather as a showcase for our best work within this maddening form which has been strangling me for thirty years! Especially this morning.

More than showcase it is an opportunity for us to hear from a Davis, an Espaillat, a Gwynn, what these expert fabricators of sonnets see in our labors.

Do these have to be *new* sonnets, or can they be sonnets already workshopped here?

Lo

Most of the sonnets will have been workshopped here, Lo. Not all, by any means. Some of our best writers only comment and do not post their work for critique. And frankly, as gatekeeper, I'm at a disadvantage, because I don't visit Met I. However, I am happy to read anything sent me and pass it on if I think it has real merit. So far, about one in five sonnets has passed the post. I sympathize with Bill Baer who receives 3500 submissions per year to the Nemerov Prize fostered by his magazine The Formalist. Well, if we were giving out $1000 to our winner, we'd probably be swamped. It does not escape me that half of the Nemerov prizes have been won by Spherians.