Brief History of English Poetry
 

Brief History of English Poetry

Chaucer anchor
Shakespeare clanker
Donne canker
Johnson cranker
Wordsworth franker
Tennyson thanker
Swinburne spanker
Eliot banker
Thomas tanker
Larkin wanker
Motion manqué

Rather irreverent towards the great masters, the word play is somewhat enjoyable. I find it lacks depth, even for comedy.

Mark

If he's looking for depth I think Mark is asking a little too much from your 22 word poem. I thoroughly enjoyed this one - ingenious, entertaining and genuinely funny.

Best,
Holly

Meh. I suppose it works on a certain level as doggerel...but some of the verbs seems arbitrary. I don't know what you mean by clanker about Shakespeare unless you mean that his meter was rough...which it might have been, but I don't think you can say it clanked. I don't see how Donne is meant to be a canker unless you mean he's a canker on the literary tradition of England. I don't see how Tennyson is a thanker...really, I can't think of anything. And Swinburne liked being spanked, not spanking, so I don't think you can call him a spanker.

Just some late night silliness. Forgive and forget.

Poe danker
Jerry Rice flanker

If you made it "English and American poetry," you could get in Whitman Yank-er, cummings prankster, Frost blanker . . . this one was fun!

Actually, only the final line disappoints for me, as the non-rhyme lands with a thud. I like Julie's suggestion for further work.

Skelton lanker

Shakespeare ranker

Dryden flanker

Pope outflanker

Burns hanker

Swinburne swanker

Crane dranker

McKuen stanker

----
. . . . pranker

If this were written by any number of people, I'd go along with the crowd urging further work. But I don't see this becoming worthy of Sam even if the poet list and anker rhymes were to be sharpened. I'd say move on.

Without rancor?

In Brit usage a wanker is a useless person, and you can't call Larkin that, or rhyme it with manque.
(While travelling on the M1 the other day, a fellow motorist indicated that he thought of me in that way, and I signalled a reciprocal opinion, using, as it happened, an American gesture.)
Best regards,
David

Well, David, that usage might be common today, but the original and traditional meaning of "wanker" is "one who masturbates", and recognizing that Sam is a southerner and consequently a traditionalist, and that his poem lists any number of traditional and classic poets, I believe your definition is not applicable; and that Larkin scholars could make a strong argument in favor of Sam Gwynn's use of the word in the narrower and more academic sense.

Nor can one call masturbation itself a useless occupation. (At least not without questioning the premise of this post, and possibly others.)

Masturbation is an occupation? My guidance counselor never mentioned that when I was in high school.

I thought Wanking was a town in China until I discovered Larkin. The poem is on page 215.

Wanking is an especially useful occupation for terrorists, long-term prisoners (or short-term I guess), schizophrenics, the criminally insane, and those in monastic orders, among others, not to mention unemployed bankers, those who overcerebrate, and so on.

Is it always a he who's a wanker? :-) In English usage, that is? I've never heard anyone say "She's a wanker." Hmmm.

BTW, if Sam says Forgive and forget, does that mean this thread is toast? Pity.

John Whitworth is absolutely correct! Page 215 of the Collected Poems. The poem is Love Again, and the first line reads:

"Love again: wanking at ten past three"

Wanking, China, John, subsequently became Nanking, and is now Nanjing. The inhabitants are known as nanjers. You may be familiar with the following, attributed to the wife of one of the Treaty Port vice-consuls:

An Englishman, transferred to Nanking,
Amused himself mainly by yanking
What he had at hand,
Till he could command
The language to beg for a spanking.

You can make a six figure income while working out of your own home in your spare time with the new Wankel Rotary Egomail List Developer.

See a moving Demonstration Right Here, you helpless fools.

Please pull yourselves together!

OK, lame critique, but Hilf*&^inglarious!!!!

Fine Jan - but how will we synchronise?

No, no, you can't synchronize, or you'd destroy the Sphere. It's like soldiers marching over a bridge. (Must I explain everything?)

OOH! So it is ;-)

How about:

Pound stinker
Eliot thinker
Wilde winker
Neruda pinker*
Bukowski drinker
Betjeman blinker
Heaney tinker
Basho linker**

*OK I only know Neruda in English translation
**Ditto above and...Renga anyone?

I know y'all are having a good time. Think about this: instead of bumping up a poem when Sam may not want that, you could turn this into an Amusement over on D&A, where you could go to town posting your own stuff.

Not sure whether the amusement should be a poem like Sam's or a series of wanking limericks, but either way it'd be, um, stimulating.

wanking as an occupation
 

Wanking as an occupation: when I was in grad school at Purude students who were short of cash could make money by selling blood to the Plasma Alliance or by providing semen for medical research--I'm not kidding--and guess how you supplied it?

Fortunately, I had an assistantship and could conserve my precious bodily fluids.

dwl

I had Shakespeare as a clanker for wearing King Hamlet's armor around. Jonson thought Donne a canker for his prosody. But both are pretty obscure.

We could move this to D&A, where I should have put it in the first place.:confused:

Your wish is my command, Sam.

Shelley sanker

Brief History of the Presidents

Washington, first.
Lincoln, versed.
Grant, thirst.
FDR, nursed.
Kennedy, hearsed.
Johnson, coerced.
Nixon, cursed.
Ford, unrehearsed.
Carter, dispersed.
Reagan, rehearsed.
Clinton, immersed.
Bush, worst.
Obama, first.

Is Wanking, China,

very far from Dorking,      deck the halls with boughs of holly,      fa-la-la-la . . .     

England ?

Parlor twitter

I am not a twit -- leastwise, I don't think so, well, maybe...

Nor do I twit any but toffs.

Rick and Allen - Do you both frequent The House of the Pink Avatar?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brief History of the Presidents

Washington, first.
Lincoln, versed.
Grant, thirst.
FDR, nursed.
Kennedy, hearsed.
Johnson, coerced.
Nixon, cursed.
Ford, unrehearsed.
Carter, dispersed.
Reagan, rehearsed.
Clinton, immersed.
Bush, worst.

Taft, burst.
Wilson, pursed.
McKinley, Hearst.
(J. Q.) Adams, precursed.
Gore, reversed.
Etc.

Coolidge - tersed

All i can say is thank god for brevity.

Clinton durst.

Clinton wurst.

Myself when young yearned rosy-posey avatar,
But ne'er in Lent -- this year -- at least so far.