Limerick photo captions
 

In this thread, post a photo, your limerick caption, and source info.

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2019...0a90-jumbo.jpg

When Joe’s slinging grits, I begin
to obsess on what’s north of his chin,
     and grit-eating’s not
     the thing that I’ve thought
in the space that precedes the word grin.

Original caption:
Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. served grits during a visit to Dulan’s Soul Food on Crenshaw [in Los Angeles].
The New York Times "California Today" newsletter (July 22, 2019).
Richard Vogel/Associated Press.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cp...07148f257b.jpg

New husbands who fall in volcanos
are prone to get brain-fluid-drain-nose.
     Most brides are not told
     that to have and to hold
is so tricky, but Mrs. Chastain knows.

Original caption: “The couple was married only days before the accident.”
From “Newlywed wife rescues husband after volcano fall,” BBC (26 July 2019)
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49132416
A relevant quote from the article: “Doctors say he is leaking cerebral spinal fluid through his nose, but did not break any bones other than a skull fracture and a cracked vertebrae.”

These are great fun. I just haven't spied the way in to one of my own yet. I shall also have to re-learn how to post a picture. But if I am inspired, I will overcome. Meanwhile, I'll enjoy yours.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/976/cp...dfef9ef41a.jpg

It's not something one celebrates,
When a clown bumbles back through one’s gates.
One can’t say it was nice
To meet Donald twice –
One thought he’d gone back to States.


'Boris Johnson, the new leader of the Conservative Party, became the country's 55th prime minister following the resignation of Theresa May. Here the Queen welcomes Mr Johnson during an audience in Buckingham Palace before he announced his new cabinet.' Source: 'Week in Pictures 20-26 July', BBC News website.

Julie, I saw that Beeb thing the same night as you.

She’s more than just legs and tomaters.
He rates her as one of the greaters.
He fell for her twice
Rather naughty—yet nice,
Since his bride is much tufa than craters.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/...64f6099f_c.jpg

Oh, I love this prime minister racket!
I'm relieving the higher tax bracket
......while my title’s bedecked
......on my condoms and kecks,
and I’ve splaffed it all over my jacket.

------------------------------------------------
Photo: The Guardian. "Why does Boris Johnson need a jacket with 'Prime Minister' on it?"

Explanation for non-Brits:

'kecks' -- underpants;
'spaff' -- ejaculate.

Johnson famously said that expenditure on historical child abuse investigations was "spaffing money up the wall".

https://www.kcbx.org/sites/kcbx/file...3.32.32_pm.png

Anyone worthy’d turn down
the trappings of public renown,
     the mayor keeps saying.
     No busts. No hooraying.
Now, what was the name of her town?

Caption: A planned statue of U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt launched a conversation about monuments in San Luis Obispo.
Source: “San Luis Obispo officials say no to public monuments of people,” KCBX News (July 17, 2019). Photo courtesy of Paula Zima.
https://www.kcbx.org/post/san-luis-o...eople#stream/0
Relevant quote: “Anyone worthy of a monument would not want one,” [Mayor Heidi] Harmon said.
[The California city of San Luis Obispo is named in honor of the 13th-century saint and bishop Louis of Toulouse (France).]

Moscow Mitch

There is a cloned turtle named Mitch
Who by cheating in DC grows rich.
He forgives Russian spies
And blocks laws with Don’s lies,
For he is the president's bitch.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?v...=0&eim=1,2 ,6

Hey Ralph, you've wandered into 'limerick photo captions'. You may be looking for 'news limericks' which is down the corridor, third door on your left :)

You might link a photo of the McConnell to your fine effort.

Cheers,
John

[Sorry, the photo is too large and I can't resize it. Please follow the article link to see it.]

The caption: “No Justice for Rape.”
The photo: some chick in a cape
     that’s sheer and diaphanous,
     thus telegraphin’ us
Ogle her--buttocks to nape.

[Really, what idiot at The Telegraph thought that this photo had anything whatsoever to do with the article? Sheesh.]

Original caption: "A woman who claims she was born after her mother was raped has criticised police for not recognising her as a victim, following a failed bid to prosecute her father. CREDIT: TECHA TUNGATEJA / ALAMY STOCK PHOTO /WWW.ALAMY.COM "
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...e-woman-seeks/

I've attached a link to my favorite rendition of Moscow Mitch above in 8.

Moscow Mitch

There is a cloned turtle named Mitch
Who by cheating in DC grows rich.
He forgives Russian spies
And blocks laws with Don’s lies,
For he is the president's bitch.

and here:

https://www.bing.com/images/search?v...=0&eim=1,2 ,6

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/660/cp...ge_doherty.jpg

If a judge should pronounce (in a brogue)
a ruling that’s anti-prorogue,
     will the rogue who is reigning
     be deaf to complaining?
Democracy isn’t in vogue.

Original caption:
A Scottish judge has retired to consider a legal attempt to block the suspension of the UK Parliament. The case is being heard at the Court of Session in Edinburgh by Lord Doherty

Article: Scottish judge to consider proroguing challenge overnight
(BBC, 29 Aug 2019)

Is a reading that's anti-pro-rogue
pro or anti the prattle of rogues?
.......If it favours his flannel,
.......then I'm off to the Channel
to escape in my one-man pirogue.

https://world.rss24.news/wp-content/...ver-brexit.jpg

By gestures the truth is revealed,
Say experts who’ve studied the field,
.......And a hand near the mouth
.......Means things have gone south,
And the truth is the truth’s been concealed.

Story: Boris Johnson denies lying to the queen. (picture source here)

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2019...8b71-jumbo.jpg

Because there's a Cattelan show on,
a gold throne your urine could flow on
     was in Blenheim, till this:
     someone’s taken the piss,
and the coppers have nothing to go on.

Original caption: The golden toilet made by the Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan. Credit Tom Lindboe, via Blenheim Art Foundation

Article: "Golden, Going Gone: 18-Karat Gold Toilet Is Stolen" (New York Times, 14 September 2019)

It was probably stolen to show
what the better-class shitter should know -
that the roll should reside
with the loose end outside.
They’ll return it as soon as it’s so.
.

Inside, Ann, inside, because it doesn't tend to pull the roll down and bind either against the roll housing or the fragrant wood often tucked into the tubular axle cylinder. How you must have suffered all these months with incorrect mechanical training. When the loose end is in the back, it's easy to spin the roll about away from you about thirty-seven and one half degrees so that the end can be grasped, and then pull that free end upwards when ready.

https://www.veteranstoday.com/2019/0...-ukraine-call/

Pomposity

Fat pompous and smug Pompeo
a month ago swearing “Don’t know”
if he phoned with Don,
conned Ukraine for a con,
still lies like Pinocchio.