I'm very excited. My best friend Steve, who's been on his own for a few years, has met a lovely lady and, after a whirlwind romance, they're getting married very soon.

I'm going to be the ''Best Man''.
Friends are saying ''Don't you mean Best Woman?" - and I tell 'em no, there's no such thing, traditionally. I regard it in a similar way to being a "Chairman" (I'm one of those, too, and woe betide anyone who addresses me as Chair, Chairwoman -- or Saints Preserve Us! -- the utterly nonsensical ChairPERSON. The role isn't gender specific.)

Anyway, I'm chuffed for them both and I need no excuse whatsoever to drink champagne. Cheers :D

Jayne

I returned to my home in the foothills of the Catskills after months out west. The woods are quiet and peaceful, and the bare oaks seem like cathedral pillars. I blew the leaves out of the gutters and off the deck, and I’ll spend the better part of the weekend clearing them off the moss. I put peas to soak overnight and will serve fresh split pea soup for my beloved’s arrival today at noon. I lit the first fire of the season in the woodstove, and was comforted by the smell of a season’s dust burning off.

My old Subaru started right up; no critter invasions. My weapons: mothballs and dryer sheets.

Michael, I'm amazed your car battery hadn't gone dead after months of not being used. Had you disconnected it? Used a trickle charger?

Trickle charger, Rogerbob.

As Franklin said, experience keeps a dear school, but fools will learn in no other...

In my defense, Ann, there isn't much room behind the engine, but enough for a squirrel to build a nest. He dragged a few sticks in with the leaves which was one tip-off, the other being when my buddy went to clean it out, and there he was, all bushy-tailed and red. Scared them both nearly to death, it did. It's not that I'm for slaying squirrels indiscriminately, but they are tasty, given good reason. Some people even call them tree rats. The good news is that I have leftovers for breakfast with eggs and gravy. It doesn't get any better than that.

You've said this before Jayne, but I'm sure you're joking about the woe and that you'd be your usual generous self in gently making your preference known.

I'm among those who, with no disrespect intended, would almost certainly use one of those forms of address you so disdain. In fact, I'd probably do it again after being corrected, only because I'm so absent-minded.

It seems that no one who pays attention to language and usage over a lifetimes doesn't end up lamenting at least some of the ways usage evolves, but like King Canute we cannot stop the tide even if we think its arrival is nonsensical.

I've never heard the term "best man" applied to a woman, and it strikes me as an odd choice since I don't hear "man" in that context as genderless. If Hillary had won the election, no one expected Bill to adopt the title "First Lady."

To follow-up on the narrow point, I'm generally one to prefer gender neutral language if I can find it without losing precision, so I like, for example, the clear, brief, and well-established chair better than the unwieldy chairperson or calling a woman a chairman. Having said that, I think there's a clear difference between, say, chairman and best man. The one is a trochaic compound word; the other has a space and is a spondee or very nearly. (Ha. Auto-correct changed spondee to spider!) Therefore, I think it's harder to argue that the latter could be gender neutral. But I'm all for Jayne (and everybody) defining themselves as they wish. Jayne, you the man!

Meanwhile, my kid is still accepted to college! Yes!

This may scandalize linguistic purists, but the maid of honor at my wedding was neither a female domestic servant nor a virgin.

I was a little slow at first, Julie, but I got it. Whew!

This is why women should never be put in charge of anything. It creates too much confusion. (For us rubes) Or is it we rubes? I can never get that right.