A young Texas heiress named Alice
inherited half of north Dallas.
When she married, her man
was a cowpoke named Stan
whom she chose for the size of his spread near Gonzalez.


Carol

Size Queen

It seems that old Betsy, Regina
Was quite indiscreet with her mynah,
The dirty old bird
Quite loudly averred
That a cuke can just fill a dozen sandwiches.

[This message has been edited by ChrisW (edited February 18, 2002).]

There once was a lady named Dinah
who thought that her bod could be finer.
"Though God knows, I'm blessed
with a marvelous chest,
I'd quite like a tighter upper arm area"

*

When making a husband selection,
be sure there's a mental connection
and please, don't forget
that it's vital to net
a man who'll maintain his interest in you as the years roll by.

[This message has been edited by Clive (edited February 17, 2002).]

That horny Hornblower, Horatio,
to his cabin perversely palatial
was wont to invite
the midshipmite
for a little light evening housekeeping.

(music)

There once was a metrical poet
With a gift, and would gladly bestow it
Upon each blessed girl
Who would give it a whirl,
But first, he insisted she listen to a bit of his light verse.

[This message has been edited by Robert Swagman (edited February 18, 2002).]

A man's tongue may happily sing us
Songs of what fortune can bring us,
But women prefer
Tongues that confer
Non-verbal pleasure by remaining silent.

A gal from the Cumberland Gap
let all the guys sit on her Chippendale sofa,
. . . and with uncommon zest
. . . they would fondle her Queen Anne bureau,
and a few of them got the standing ovation.

Jan

An oversexed tourist from Venus
declared just as soon as she'd seen us
nakedly flaunting
our flesh, "My how daunting!
How can men do it with only one partner?"

Intending no theft and no malice
A eunuch broke into the palace.
"It's got to be here,"
He said. "I'm quite clear
That this is the last place I took out my wallet."

[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited February 19, 2002).]

Texas Honeymoon

A cowboy down on his luck
eloped with his bride in a truck.
They drove all that night
in the Texas moonlight
then crawled in the back to sleep.

sam