Eratosphere

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-   -   Exquisite Corpse 3 (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=29943)

Ann Drysdale 08-18-2018 01:23 AM

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos

Andrew Szilvasy 08-18-2018 10:28 AM

of children chewing on their plastic forks.

Jim Moonan 08-18-2018 10:43 AM

x
x
a cartoon tattoo nude across his
chest
x
x

Ann Drysdale 08-22-2018 12:52 AM

Whatever floats your boat, whatever works

Allen Tice 08-22-2018 02:52 PM

When I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!

Aaron Novick 08-22-2018 03:01 PM

But after all this work, will no one pay us



(picking up the "chaos" rhyme, hence showing the last two words)

Ann Drysdale 08-24-2018 01:59 AM

rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime

Jim Moonan 08-24-2018 09:51 AM

x
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme
x

Jim Moonan 08-24-2018 09:54 AM

x
Lets end on an even number of lines. Right now we have 16.

But your call, Aaron : )
x

Aaron Novick 08-24-2018 10:07 AM

Straight version:
However, starting in the middle has
whatever the child has that has its own
my thoughts can twist themselves into a knot
of tangled skeins and other nasties grown
out of proportion into freakishness
has got me starting to freak out—a lot.
The electrical current sings accompanying jazz.
Oh, goodness—really? Now it's quite the mess.

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos
of children chewing on their plastic forks.
a cartoon tattoo nude across his chest
Whatever floats your boat, whatever works
When I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
But after all this work, will no one pay us
rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme.

Version slightly edited to make grammatical sense:
However, starting in the middle has
whatever the child has that has its own
thoughts that can twist themselves into a knot
of tangled skeins and other nasties grown
out of proportion into freakishness—
has got me starting to freak out—a lot.
The electrical current sings accompanying jazz.
Oh, goodness—really? Now it's quite the mess.

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos,
of children chewing on their plastic forks.
A cartoon tattoo nude across his chest.
Whatever floats your boat, whatever works:
when I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
But after all this work, will no one pay us?
Rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime—
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme.


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