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-   -   Exquisite Corpse 3 (https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=29943)

Aaron Novick 08-11-2018 12:58 PM

Exquisite Corpse 3
 
It's fun, harmless, and sometimes even leads to more serious poetry. So let's do it again.




However, starting in the middle has

Ann Drysdale 08-11-2018 01:03 PM

whatever the child has that has its own
.

Jim Moonan 08-11-2018 06:20 PM

x
my thoughts can twist themselves into a knot
x



(Btw Ann, that's the oddest reason for editing a post I've ever seen)
x

Aaron Novick 08-11-2018 08:12 PM

of tangled skeins and other nasties grown

Ann Drysdale 08-12-2018 01:58 AM

This is just an interjection for Jim, lest he should think I was suggesting something not in keeping with my reputation as a gentlewoman:

http://www.thinkenglish.me/phrases/press-the-tit.html

Carry on playing.

Jim Moonan 08-12-2018 07:30 AM

I rarely take note (or make note for that matter) of “reasons for edit” but this one seemingly called to me out of the ether. Now I know what it was saying: “Hey! You! Here’s a foot. Put it in your mouth.”
I knew of other meanings but none of them fit. So I wrongly assumed you had Freudianed it from the word "edit" -- Or thought maybe it was that dastardly creature "Spellcheck" that had done tit. (There it's gone and done it again).

A spades' not a spade.
A rose not a rose
but a tit's not a tit?
The gentlewoman knows.
x
x

I apologize. You are nothing but the gentlest woman in my eyes.
x

Ann Drysdale 08-14-2018 04:24 PM

out of proportion into freakishness

Aaron Novick 08-14-2018 04:30 PM

has got me starting to freak out—a lot.

Andrew Szilvasy 08-16-2018 07:50 AM

The electrical current sings accompanying jazz.

Aaron Novick 08-16-2018 08:39 AM

Oh, goodness—really? Now it's quite the mess.

Ann Drysdale 08-18-2018 01:23 AM

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos

Andrew Szilvasy 08-18-2018 10:28 AM

of children chewing on their plastic forks.

Jim Moonan 08-18-2018 10:43 AM

x
x
a cartoon tattoo nude across his
chest
x
x

Ann Drysdale 08-22-2018 12:52 AM

Whatever floats your boat, whatever works

Allen Tice 08-22-2018 02:52 PM

When I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!

Aaron Novick 08-22-2018 03:01 PM

But after all this work, will no one pay us



(picking up the "chaos" rhyme, hence showing the last two words)

Ann Drysdale 08-24-2018 01:59 AM

rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime

Jim Moonan 08-24-2018 09:51 AM

x
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme
x

Jim Moonan 08-24-2018 09:54 AM

x
Lets end on an even number of lines. Right now we have 16.

But your call, Aaron : )
x

Aaron Novick 08-24-2018 10:07 AM

Straight version:
However, starting in the middle has
whatever the child has that has its own
my thoughts can twist themselves into a knot
of tangled skeins and other nasties grown
out of proportion into freakishness
has got me starting to freak out—a lot.
The electrical current sings accompanying jazz.
Oh, goodness—really? Now it's quite the mess.

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos
of children chewing on their plastic forks.
a cartoon tattoo nude across his chest
Whatever floats your boat, whatever works
When I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
But after all this work, will no one pay us
rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme.

Version slightly edited to make grammatical sense:
However, starting in the middle has
whatever the child has that has its own
thoughts that can twist themselves into a knot
of tangled skeins and other nasties grown
out of proportion into freakishness—
has got me starting to freak out—a lot.
The electrical current sings accompanying jazz.
Oh, goodness—really? Now it's quite the mess.

Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos,
of children chewing on their plastic forks.
A cartoon tattoo nude across his chest.
Whatever floats your boat, whatever works:
when I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
But after all this work, will no one pay us?
Rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime—
no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme.

Allen Tice 08-24-2018 01:00 PM

If you're happy with what you're reading, clop your hooves!

Jim Moonan 08-27-2018 08:55 AM

x
I hesitate to clop for fear of being labeled a flop, but I actually understand this. Like I do psychedelia lyrics. I definitely can float along in the steam. Coherent in a drunken sort of way.

Maybe this works best as a prose poem:

[i]However, starting in the middle has whatever the child has that has its own. My thoughts can twist themselves into a knot of tangled skeins and other nasties grown out of proportion into freakishness — has got me starting to freak out — a lot. The electrical current sings accompanying jazz. Oh, goodness — really? Now it's quite the mess.
Aim for the silence at the heart of chaos of children chewing on their plastic forks, a cartoon tattoo nude across his chest. Whatever floats your boat, whatever works. When I want horse with some force, I want a Clydesdale!
But after all this work, will no one pay us? Rhyming and chiming, spinning on a dime — no whispered clue to lead, no line to rhyme?



On second thought... Nah...
x
x
x

Jayne Osborn 09-19-2018 05:06 AM

Hi guys and gals,
I'm closing this thread as you're done with it... I'll expect to see #4 soon! I'm glad you're having fun with your game :D

Jayne


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