A Possible Preemptive Drill?
 

It occurred to me that in the overwhelmingly unlikely event of one of next week's comps'. calling for a poem pertaining to a certain MP's defection, it might serve us well to have something in readiness. Also, as this probably won't happen and it would be a shame to waste the subject, why not make a Drill or Amusement of it?

I suppose I might as well get on with it then:

1.
There once was a fellow named Carswell
Who thought he'd give Cameron a hard spell;
So he went and jumped ship,
Gave the Tories the pip
And now he takes bets in Great Karpnell.

2.
They say rats leave a sinking ship,
And swim to safer ground;
So why should Douglas join UKIP
When David's ship is sound?

Three cheers for Duggers
Who shafted the buggers.
In Clacton they cheer
And toast him in beer.
The fellow's a shoo in
And certain to do in
The Cameroon tendency,
End their ascendancy,
Bring back the old times,
The sunsets of gold times,
Banish the bureaucrats,
Death to all Eurocrats,
Luvvies, tree-huggers,
So three cheers for Duggers.

To turn one's back
On the beaten track
And seek instead
The path unled,
To say goodbye
To a reason why
And sit obscene
In a soup tureen;

This was the cause in his mind as he fell,
That misguided twister, old Mister Carswell.

Bugger, another one.

Feckless old Reckless
- Poor Rochester's bane! -
Has trod in the sodding
Damned footsteps of Douglas;

He thinks he can wreck us,
This treacherous thegn,
But near him is plodding
The Reaper, regudlas.