Narrative Magazine: epigram contest
 

passing this on from my e-mail inbox:

"WHILE AN APHORISM aims to express universal truth, the goal of an epigram is brevity, wit, and longevity.
Epigrams often take the form of rhyming couplets, and one written by Coleridge expresses its role well:

What is an Epigram? A dwarfish whole;
Its body brevity, and wit its soul.
Oscar Wilde, however, produced a vast collection of nonrhyming epigrams:

“I can resist everything except temptation.”

“Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality.”

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

This week, Puzzler challenges you to an epigram competition.

Send your epigrams to Puzzler by Monday noon, Pacific standard time. You may send as many epigrams as you wish."

The address is: puzzler@narrativemagazine.com

Is this an epigram?
 

Is this an epigram? I don't think so, as it has only the first of the three attributes listed above.


Don't cheat on me, dear. It's not that I'm jealous.
I just wouldn't wish you on anyone elous.

I love that, Marion! Brilliant.

Thanks, Bob. But it's still not an epigram, is it? Aren't epigrams supposed to have a certain--well--dignity, that this one seriously lacks...especially with that godawful pun?

How about this for you, Marion,

One woman’s cheating man is another woman’s cheating man.

If you can’t attain brevity, wit, or longevity,
you may still get some points by engendering levity.

Frank

Epigrams/Platitudes:

He finally got his driver’s license, now he can drive himself up the wall.

At a certain age people come in two editions, melons or prunes.

Life is as flat as a pancake without him, a flat, bland, boring pancake without syrup.

Some people can turn a failed outing into a fun adventure, others can turn a fun adventure into a failed outing.

A plentitude of flatitudes aspiring to levity, but not to emaility!

Marion, doesn't Ogden Nash do epigrams? Yours is an Ogden, surely.

My two all-time favourite epigrams are:

Two men look out through prison bars:
One sees mud, the other sees stars.

The vilest furniture in the land
is an elephant's foot umbrella stand.

*****************************

Put your coat on before you answer the door. Why??
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just going out,"/ "I've just come in. Hi!"

When something breaks down, you need a spare part.
When something breaks up, you need a spare heart.

Falling in a love is a blast
if you don’t mind the fallout.
.