New Statesman: Literary Revisions
 

The cento competition came up with one winner we know. Chap called Bill Greenwell. The latest Competition goes like this.

Publishers have revised some of the language of Enid Blyton to make it more comprehensible to today's readers. Can we have the same done to famous literary passages of your choice. Up to 125 words by 26th August to comp@newstatesman.co.uk

Enid Blyton was a very popular and successful English writer for children in the immediate post war years. Her most famous creation was little Noddy, a repulsive fresh-faced elf who drove round in a yellow car. His bst friend was a bearded gnome called Big Ears Other characters were PC Plod and a criminal Gollywog. My mother refused point blank to read them to me because she said Noddy made her sick.

I can't post the winners because that involves buying a subscription to the NS and I'm not going to do that. Anyone who DOES have a subscription could post the winners up.

I would have thought this was much more promising, but perhaps I've got the wrong end of the stick. Anyway, this was fun to do.

Our Revels Now Are Ended

The party’s over. Gone are the celebs.
Elvis has left the building to the plebs.
Without the glitz, the flashing lights and such,
You have to say it isn’t up to much.
There’s nothing doing here or anywhere.
What you thought flesh and blood is empty air.
It’s like a movie: streets you thought were real
Are back-lot junk; the superstar’s appeal
Is clever shots and trick photography;
Off set the man’s too short, the girl’s too fat,
And, let me tell you punters, life’s like that.
People and things are never what they seem.
You pop your clogs and, hey, it’s all a dream.

a palpable hit
 

Much more to-the-point & amusing than that bloviating old tosser Prospero.

bloviating, Bazza, bloviating? Lovely word.