Staggers Bible by instalments
 

Bazza was in his usual saturnine form and Chris O'Carroll kept up his batting average. As did I. Bob's couplet was the best thing of all. I couldn't understand what the comment meant.

The next challenge

No 4168 Set by Leonora Casement
Compers are asked to imagine that the Bible is being serialised in a newspaper/journal ofyour choice. Each week, a "Next Week" notice will appear at the end of the "piece" to galvanise readers into buying the next instalment. You may pick any Book you like, whetherfound in the Old or New Testaments. Max 125 words by 10 March compnewstatesman.co.uk

The newspaper trailer for Genesis

Hold onto your mitres, you nightly nail-biters,
the Big One is up next week.
So grab a cold beer and turn the page here
and get ready to cheer and to freak.

That's right--out of the vacuous gloom
He'll whip up a garden and folk.
You got it, it's weird, but here comes The Boom:
He's making a world--no joke!

His spirit's moving, the water's fine;
though a neutron's refused to split!
but He's got it covered; it's in His design.
(They skip this in Biblical Lit.)

Where there was nothing--a universe!--
with chatter and kids and right whales,
picnics and Perth and what some will find worse,
lit. critics with cork screw tails

Some folks won't like it, no, not a bit.
They'll bellow and raise a commotion.
There'll be Facists and fools and no place to sit
and condos will rot by the ocean.

It's a hot fresh piece you won't want to miss.
The lines will stretch to the loo.
He's handing out sweets. Even skeptics like this.
(But surely that doesn't mean: you!)

Great stuff, Lance. And you're the first to do it.

Thanks, John. Where are the takers on this one?

Revelation Rap
or, All at sixes and sevens

Next week: a Revelation;
the anti-Christ meets the Lord of the Creation.
Read about how it goes down and feel the flames of Hades*--
it's Apocalypse Now, and it ain't for ladies;
a vision of damnation, not a mofo sea view.

Get yourself a copy, quail at St John's Preview.

*Yes, yes. I mean Hell, colloquially.

Argh! I've got too many words--perennial problem. (Thanks, Jan for the discreet email) Have to drop one stanza--at least. Any suggestions?