Speccie paracrostic
 

It was all a bit beyond me but clever Bill Greenwell and Frank Osen star. Is Max Ross one of us?

I'd never heard of a paracrostic, but this is how it works.

NO. 2724: paracrostic
You are invited to supply a poem in which the initial letters of each line read down the page reproduce the last line (16 lines max.). Please email entries, if possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 23 November.

Hmmm, tricky.

To write a verse within such rules,
How can this count as fun?
I think that only drunks or fools
Suspect it can be done.
I wonder, Muse, why you inflict
Such mental aches and pains?
Although I sometimes wish you strict,
Let go now, spare my brains!
Oh, last line spelled out down one side,
A sadist’s trick I fear!
Daft task! Alas, I have my pride,
Or else I ‘d stop right here.
Fair chance? At least my ear’s not tin . . .
Refrain from hope, you clot!
One fact ensures that you won’t win -
This is a load of rot.

I see they did this before, only with the acrostic having to duplicate the first line:

http://www.spectator.co.uk/wit-and-w...ctator/part_2/

It seems that the first thing you need is a last line that has the same first and last letter.

It's hard to see the fun in this. (But Jerome's was fun.)

Egotistical Paracrostic

I!

Congratulations, Jerome. I've been trying to do 'Desperate Dan died. but I haven't got very far.

Desperate Dan died.
Everyone sad inside
Screwed him into his box,
Passed away of the pox.

Elegant excellent feller,
Raising his silk umbrella,
Always the perfect gent
Till the grim reaper was sent


That took an age and still NBG.

John - your memory may be going. You won £25 for a rather good one, back in 2008.
http://www.spectator.co.uk/wit-and-w...petition.thtml

George

Right enough George. That one's not bad at all. I must think of a line.

Girls are exciting
In so many ways.
Ramona likes biting.
Larissa likes lays -

Splendiferous sex and
All similar stuff.
Rosanna likes pecs and
Elvira likes rough.

Emelda likes Hubert.
Xanthe likes Fee.
Corinna likes you but
Irene likes me.

This be the verse
In rhyme and fine writing,
Needful and terse:
Girls are exciting.

Needs a little work but I like it better than bloody Desperate Dan.

John, those first two stanzas are hilarious! As you've probably realised you've missed the penultimate N line.

Roger, didn't understand this: It seems that the first thing you need is a last line that has the same first and last letter.

Jerome:

This is a load of rot

Girls are exciting

etc.

The last line must begin and end with the same letter, no?