Eratosphere - LitRev results for the limerick comp

**The fabulous news about John's big prize deserves its own separate thread; it's over on The Accomplished Members board**

Bazza (aka Iain Colley) was the only Spherian to get a prize this month, so congrats!

Jayne

Poetry Competition & Results

Report by Deputy Editor Tom Fleming

This month entrants were invited to write limericks about a monarch or aristocrat. Bill Webster wins first prize; Ian White comes second with ‘Indigent Thane’. They win £300 and £150 respectively. Iain Colley, Penelope Mackie and Janet Kenny win £10 each. Congratulations must also go to John Whitworth, who won the annual Grand Poetry Prize. The Mail on Sunday, who have been incredibly generous for continuing to sponsor the prize over the years, awarded John a cheque for £5,000; his poem was read out by Niamh Cusack at a highly enjoyable lunch.

(Next comp on new thread)

FIRST PRIZE
A royal foursome of Georges by Bill Webster

I
The death of Queen Anne gave occasion
For George I’s German invasion:
Though not Anglophone
He laid claim to the throne
And prevailed through religious persuasion.

II
He was mocked and reviled, even spat on;
Hardly burnished the throne that he sat on;
But at least King George Two
Fought for red, white and blue
And passed on the monarchical baton.

III
George III lost the States and his mind,
And Shelley decried him as blind,
But it is worth a mention
He gave Johnson a pension,
So perhaps we should speak as we find.

IV
The Fourth used to spend by the million,
And paint the town shades of vermilion:
His tastes were less Georgian
Than Lucrezia Borgian
As revealed in his Brighton Pavilion.

SECOND PRIZE
Indigent Thane by Ian White

Macbeth: Ah, black penury’s sorrow!
Lady M: If ’tis cash thou wouldst borrow –
When wilt thou repay?
Macbeth: Give me till, say,
Tomorrow, or tomorrow, or tomorrow.

Abdication Blues by Iain Colley

In the annals of amorous follies
What more sad than a Prince seeking solace
In the dubious charms
And enveloping arms
Of the twice-married demirep Wallis?

She had earned herself global renown
By the fabulous way she went down,
Thus whenever her mouth
Moved prehensiley south
It extinguished all thoughts of the crown.

He was censured for rank impropriety
By upholders of honour and piety,
But he made her his wife
And they settled for life
As two pillars of café society.

King Canute by Penelope Mackie

It’s a shame folk so often impute
The fallacious belief to Canute
That, if only he tried,
Then he could turn back the tide –
Since that’s just what he meant to refute.

Line Drawing by Janet Kenny

The burden of being the queen
is having to always be seen
in places that bore us
because you implore us
to come so you know that we’ve been.

When they told us that Anthony Blunt
used working for us as a front,
we felt no surprise.
We’re surrounded by spies.
When we need one we don’t have to hunt.

Prince Phillip said: if I blurt out
whatever I’m thinking about,
my mixed education
is some explanation.
I’m Danglish, Wop, Limey and Kraut.

We’re not only well- but in-bred
and some say we’re light in the head.
We open and launch things
and people sing staunch things
and praise us until we are dead.