New Statesman -- hints for writers -- April 5
 

Bill Greenwell, Basil Ransome-Davies, and I all got our names into another competitor's winning entry this week. Of the three of us, I was the only one not to win a prize of his own. Bill took the top prize.

I'm following John Whitworth's good example -- although I guess Jayne Osborn gets the actual credit for the idea -- by including the deadline date for the next competition in the headline. I'll try to remember to do that from now on.

No 4222

Set by Leonora Casement
There are many writing courses around, but what about some “Handy Hints” to would-be writers for a particular magazine or newspaper of your choice. Max 150 words by 5 April comp@newstatesman.co.uk

You people have got to stop winning, do you hear. It makes the rest of us feel inadequate.

'Twas indeed my idea, Chris, and I'm glad that you and John have taken it up too. I still manage to miss those damned deadlines all too often lately, though! :(

Ah Jayne, it's the short term memory as my daughter Ellie keeps telling me. Thats why you arrive at the top of the stairs wondering why it was you had just ascended. I am speaking for myself, of course.

Top of the stairs
 

It's even worse in my case, John. When I arrive at the top of the stairs, I find myself saying "What the f*** - I live in a single-story ground-floor flat!"

Those sound like the three steps to Heaven, Brian, and they didn't do Eddie Cochrane much good. Don't take any planes anywhere.