New Statesman -- clothing innovations -- May 31
 

A life peer win for Brian Allgar this week. No word yet on what title he'll choose.

No 4229 Set by Leonora Casement
We want imaginative descriptions of the first introduction of style changes to items of clothing of your choice, eg, zip flies, trouser creases, turn-ups etc.
Max 125 words by 31 May comp@newstatesman.co.uk

A tricky choice, Chris.

On seeing that, once again, some editorial hand at the NS has modified my submitted text for the worse, I considered "Lord Love-a-duck".

But on seeing that the prize money has gone down to twenty quid (and what's happened to the thirty quid that was briefly on offer at the Spectator?), I think I prefer "Lord For-The-Little-We-Have-Received-Make-Us-Truly-Thankful".

eh?
 

The Staggers is finding some very strange ideas at the bottom of its competition barrel. Oh well. Loon pants, anyone?

Strange indeed, Basil. I think I'll go for "Why?" fronts.