New Statesman -- proverbs -- June 14 deadline
 

Tesco vouchers this week for Alban Girral (Brian Allgar), and wins for me and Bill Greenwell.

No 4231
Set by Will Bellenger
We want proverbs, please, which are pointless. For example: “Ice cream is a dish best served cold.” (NB: pointless NOT meaningless.)
Max ten goes by 14 June comp@newstatesman.co.uk

Do you think we can send lots of these in a single email? It seems like something we should each easily be able to write at least a dozen of, no?

You can write as many as you'd like, but you can only send 10. It says above.

I guess I should have read the whole thing. It's not that long. Thanks.

Note who set this competition. That's him out of the way at least.

It's a gay dog that never kissed his wife.
Better to live at ease than die in strife.
Better to die in strife than live at ease.
Better to shoot the bear than shoot the breeze.
A Scotsman on the make will rob you blind.
There's more to wisdom than a fool can find.
There's less to life than pissing up a rope.
The devil's bargain is a dancing pope.
A dancing pope is worth two Yorkshire vicars.
Better to dry your tears than wet your knickers.

I wouldn't be too sure, John. I've seen NS competitions where the setter was among the winners - I don't think there are any rules against it. Of course, if the setter were also the judge, it would be a different story ...

Too true, Brian. I was trying to appeal to the master's better nature. Here's another one. Not mine alas, but the master's.

It is seldom difficult to distinguish between a ray of sunshine and a Scotsman with a grievance.

Not quite a proverb, perhaps, more an apothegm.

I wrote a poem full of these things. Is a published poem against the rules? Actually it wouldn't do in its entirety. Bits would though.

[quote=John Whitworth;248294]Note who set this competition. That's him out of the way at least.

Can't think what you mean ...

Do you mean you can win the competitions you set? Hardly cricket. Actually I can't think why you shouldn't but I thought I might fill you full of guilt.

Fine turds butter no pisspots.

I'm not quite sure what makes a proverb pointless and not meaningless other than a sort of clunking obviousness (Plenty more fish at the fishmonger, for instance). Most common proverbs (forget the baroque Eastern incomprehensibles for now) are statements of the obvious in any case, gaining what clout they have by being finger waggingly trotted out after the fact: no-one ever says 'Look before you leap!' until you've leapt. Perhaps I have stymied myself by over analysing the competition?